Great premise: American academic (John Malkovich) and lovely French wife (Catherine Deneuve) travel to Portugal so he can research his theory that Shakespeare was really a Spanish Jew cast out in 1492 or on the run from the Inquisition. He winds up at a disused monastery (not a convent; there is no convent in the movie, despite the title) cared for by Satan worshipers, the viewer subtly becoming aware of this due to a big inverted pentagram hanging in the office of the "guardian" of the monastery, Baltar. Whether Malkovich and Deneuve are aware of this, or care, is unclear. Baltar gets the hots for Deneuve, while Malkovich is thrown together with the lovely young archivist (who seems to be a token non-Satan worshiper), but nothing comes of either pairing. Characters yak at each other, this tedium being broken by the greater tedium of extended silences, and then the yet greater tedium of extended silences with the screen virtually still. Despite the great setup, no gore, no nudity, all very tasteful eurotedium. Inconclusive conclusion. Ninety minutes wasted.
Review of The Convent
