Review of The Item

The Item (1999)
1/10
One of the worst I have seen.....
15 December 2001
OK, I had more fun watching Microwave Massacre that this steaming loaf. I enjoy a good B-Movie with some beer and a buddy, but this one hurt. I have a friend and we get together to watch what we term "Schmeg Movies". We enjoy the low budget gag/horror films. We have survived the likes of Manos The Hands Of Fate, Jack Frost 1&2, Psycho From Texas, Street Trash, Brain Damage, etc... But this movie was one of those where the people involved took themselves WAY to seriously! They actually thought they were making "Pulp Fiction" meets "Dead Alive" or something of the sort! The whole thing is very weak! It even looks like it was shot on a home video camera! Artisan should be ashamed of themselves for marketing this piece of trash like it is a real movie! Even the DVD case is deceiving! From the looks of it you are getting a real movie. 16x9 anamorphic, DD 5.1, commentary, etc..... You have been warned.......
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