Review of Cremaster 3

I just saw Cremaster 3 on a big screen (Castro Theater in San Francisco).

First the good:

• It looks great. The cinematography is beautiful.

• There are some interesting and unusual scenes and images.

Now the bad:

• The movie is a bunch of scenes which act as if they're going to add up to something but really don't add up to anything.

• There's a lot of "product placement". In Hollywood movies, product placement means that the characters drink Coke or subliminally (or even overtly) advertise some product. In Barney's case, this means that the characters use or play with white plastic sculptures which are what Barney sells for lots of cash. Just think: you could buy one of these things that might have been used in the movie for only $50,000.00.

• There is a long sequence in the Guggenheim museum in which Barney showcases his rock climbing skills. Great. He's so buff. Isn't it amazing? Talented AND buff. Sorry, that rock climbing was just a show-off. It added nothing to the film otherwise. Much has been made of how Barney was a football player, and he seems to feel obligated to keep proving that he's a jock. The novelty of it all... a jock artist! Oh my.

• In the same Guggenheim sequence he has two punk bands playing at once with punks dancing, while sculptor Richard Serra throws liquid vaseline at some steel plates, with some of it running down a channel that goes down the inside of the spiral walkway. The main point of this seemed to be "look how cool I am. I have punk bands and big deal sculptors here with me!"

If you want to see some strange scenes and don't mind spending 3 hours at it, go ahead. If you expect art or something of significance, you will either be sorely disappointed or perhaps you'll be snowed like the most critics and will believe you saw just that.