The Foreigner (2003)
10/10
Gives FOREIGNERS a bad name!
10 October 2004
SCREEN GEMS planned to give this one a cinema release, hopefully to ride on the success of HALF PAST DEAD, when HPD flopped, this movie (THE FOREIGNER) was shelved and went straight to DVD. This is probably the best thing that could have happened to SEAGAL, i don't think i could have taken it, watching people leave or laugh at the cinema, at this (let's say) complicated-mess of a movie

With every new year, comes new excitement over a new STEVEN SEAGAL flick. And i'll say one thing about the stout sensei, his films may have gone downhill, but his 'video art' improves with every new release. This DVD cover has SEAGAL wielding a gun, a hot babe in the background, helicopters passing over the Eiffel tower and a car whizzing about in mid-air.........Sounds great! "SPECIAL DELIVERY-ACTION" proclaims the back cover, and it further announces that "Amid exotic locales and loads of explosive excitement, THE FOREIGNER is a heart-pounding thriller from the king of action (i take it, they mean SEAGAL?) that'll keep you on the edge of your seat"....Phew!......You soon find out they TRI-STAR are being (just) a little economical with the truth, on this one.

Here SEAGAL (working with hack director MICHAEL OBLOWITZ) try (and mostly fail) to go for that old school 'Harry Palmer/Dirk Bogarde' style espionage flick, were action takes a back seat, to plot. Unfortunately, what we have here is little plot, AND very little action, so the rest is stretched out with meaningless 'filler'

SEAGAL plays JONATHAN COLD (great name, eh!) who is hired by a shadowy crime boss (aren't they all) to deliver a 'mysterious-package'(tm) across France, but enemy agents try (and mostly fail) to intercept him on his mission. On paper (and certainly on the DVD write up) this sounds great, OUT FOR JUSTICE meets RONIN, but the plot makes little or no sense. And SEAGAL (as much as i like the guy) looks sluggish, and rather bloated. His (once magnificent) fight scenes are reduced to quick cut (waist upward) speed-ups. And in most cases (the fight with MAX RYAN) look terribly 'doubled' On the plus side, the movie is lensed well enough, and (god forbid) you might have to watch it 2-or-3 times in order to understand what's happening (but you might not want to waste four and a half hours of your life, like this!) Had the movie not concentrated on 'meaningless murders of (mostly) innocent bystanders, and concentrated on more SEAGAL hand-to-broken-wrist style combat, it certainly might have ranked up there with his early 90's input. However, lazy performances and little martial-arts for your money spent make this an extremely guilty pleasure, and one for the die-hard fans (that's me, then?).

This is one FOREIGNER desperately seeking asylum from it's own pretensions.

What's worse is, that not even a year later, SEAGAL further rubbished his cred, by making (the dreadful) OUT FOR A KILL (with the same director) And he's now RUMOURED to be making a follow-up to THE FOREIGNER........Don't do it STEVEN!!

Because i like SEAGAL in anything, i'll give it a 6 and a half.
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