Review of The Grudge

My mind's going' a hundred miles a minute. I've got an idea for a double sequel that'll knock the socks off of all them big shots in Hollywood (or is it Tokyo? I just can't tell any more). A guy, we'll call him Sam Michael Gillman, hears from his friend in Japan that he needs a house sitter to watch his place for a week. Well, Sam has never been to Japan so he figures this will be a good opportunity to go there on the cheap. Before he boards the plane he figures he should pick up some English language videos to watch while he's there. He gets to Japan and he has a taxi take him to his friend's house, only he mispronounces the name of the street and the taxi driver takes him to The Grudge death house by mistake. Oh my!!! Sam goes in the house. Fortunately for him, even though there was actually no one LIVING in the house at the time, the electricity and phone still work. So, Sam makes himself comfortable and puts one of his videos into the VCR. It's a strange video with a girl in a well and a spooky glowing ring. When it's over the phone rings and he's told he would normally have 7 days to live but in this case death happens to be on holiday in Japan, so she's coming right over. In the meantime, there is a noise that seems to be coming from the attic. Sam thinks all this is very odd. He looks up on the stairs and there is a black cat, a little Asian boy, a young somber Asian lady, and this really angry fellow. He's trying to make out what they want. He is strangely compelled to pick up the cat, help the little boy, and then go up and join them in the attic. Whatever it is they want, they are alternating from looking like just regular folks to appearing as horribly scary ghost people! Sam is intrigued and is thinking this must all be quite normal in Japan, when there is a knock at the television. Suddenly, and without warning, on this dark and stormy night, the girl that was in the video crawls through the television and walks slowly toward Sam. "Are these friends of yours?", Sam asks the TV ghoul, pointing to the stairs. All the odd dead people look at each other and try in vain to communicate with froggy croaking sounds. What will happen?! Will they duel to the death? (Er, probably not to the death). Whatever happens, it's bound to be really scary! And bound to have an ending that is nonsensical and goes nowhere!