Review of Mortuary

Mortuary (1982)
1/10
Felt I'd been embalmed after watching this dud
22 December 2004
Maybe a performance by a young Bill Paxton is the only plus for this rubbish. One of my 'rule of thumb' is if a film has a painted box cover, you're in for trouble. Usually means the film is so bad, they can't find a decent shot to put on the cover.

Poor Chris George just sleepwalks his way through the film, obviously either ill (he died after the film was completed) or just bored and thinking of the paycheck he was getting and what to spend it on.

The young leads are two of the most nauseating teens I've ever seen on screen, "Boo, I'm Dracula!" "Oh, you're sooo crazy!" Cak!! Hand me the killer's knife, I'll stab them myself!

When you don't like the supposed heroes, it's hard to care what happens and when the plot, acting, writing, directing are all dull too...well, it's finger on the fast-forward button time. But I resisted and saw the film out to it's silly ending, senseless 'lets have a shock ending!' It's not..it's just stupid.

At least I bought the tape secondhand in a charity shop, so, at least the money went to a good cause.
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