Review of The Park

The Park (2003)
1/10
What the hell?
15 January 2005
Before I start this review, I must admit that when I saw this movie, it was the wee hours of the morning and I was slightly intoxicated. Maybe my judgment was a little off, but I doubt it.

'The Park' is a silly 3D horror movie about a haunted amusement park, which just happened to be built on a cemetery. After several deaths at the park, it was closed down. 14 years later, a journalist investigating the park goes missing (naturally). His sister, Yen, is determined to find him, but their mother, a ghost hunter, believes him to be dead already. Regardless of her mother's professional advice, Yen sets out with a group of ghost fodder (her friends) in an attempt to find her brother.

Where to begin with this film's faults? There are so many. For starters, the plot is a mess. Unoriginal and full of plot holes. There is nothing close to horror in this. Sure, there are ghosts and other such dead people, but no scares. The 3D effects on which the film was based weren't all that impressive - or even 3D - on the VCD I watched. The dialog (in subtitles) was rather bad. All the characters seem to have a problem in which they felt the need to state the obvious, with everyone saying several times "There are ghosts!". I think they got the point after that was said for the billionth time.

I will give 'The Park' credit for two things though: More proof that clowns are evil, and the fact that we have very little (to no) character development. It's a great way to determine early on who will die, and who will survive.

After thinking about it, this seemed like it was meant to be campy B-movie. The (very blatant) references to 'Mr Vampire' and 'Nightmare on Elm Street' prove that, but it still felt like the movie was taking itself too seriously. Sure, I laughed at some bad B-movie moments, but those few moments were surrounded by a whole lot of just plain bad material.

1/10 - 'The Park' was very disappointing. Maybe I'll try watching it again sometime, but not any time soon.
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