1/10
Typical Hollywood horror garbage, only worse
21 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I had at least expected EXORCIST - THE BEGINNING to be somewhat faithful to the original movie. The CGI-created camera swoop over the opening massacre dashed that hope. The gritty realism of THE EXORCIST is absent here. What we have is yet another special effects-laden spectacle along the lines of THE MUMMY, much darker, but no less stupid.

Renny Harlin proves once again he was born to direct beer commercials. He seems to have no concept of camera movement, editing, timing, pacing or much of anything. It's like giving a first year film student $50 million and saying "make this into a movie." He tries to impress, and fails. His camera moves for no reason, he cuts to close-ups at inappropriate moments, ends scenes prematurely, and guides the actors to deliver more bad performances then any one movie should have to bear.

There is one genuinely unsettling moment, when a mother gives birth to a rotten fetus covered in maggots, but pretty much all the other "scares" and attempts at tension or suspense fall flat. There are the usual cheap shots, such as loud bursts of music and slamming doors, and some second rate CGI sequences that look like rejected effects from THE HULK. Kind of hard to be horrified by the sight of a little boy being ripped to pieces by hyenas when the scene looks like it belongs in a video game.

The screenplay is needlessly convoluted, perhaps to cover up the fact that the writer can't write dialog to save his life. Throw in a few battle scenes and a sand storm and maybe no one will notice how much the story sucks. Characters are introduced into the story for next to no reason. The female doctor serves little purpose other than to look pretty and take a three second long shower. She does play an "important" role in the finale, but only through a ridiculous and pointless contrivance which reeks of hack work. The British officer who sends Merrin on his quest in the beginning shows up again so he can kill himself after his butterfly collection comes to life. Oooooo, scary.

EXORCIST - THE BEGINNING makes EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC seem not so bad. I am not sure where the writers of this drivel got the idea that the character of Father Merrin ever lost his faith. It is repeatedly referenced in THE EXORCIST book and the movie EXORCIST II that Merrin exorcised a Syrian demon named Pazuzu from an African boy while he was working as a missionary in Africa; yet here, Merrin is an atheist and they seem to fighting Lucifer himself. I thought this was supposed to be an actual prequel to THE EXORCIST, but it seems more like an episode of THE ADVENTURES OF YOUNG FATHER MERRIN. This story was covered better and more intelligently in EXORCIST II, as flawed a movie as it may be.

This is definitely one to skip. I didn't have to worry about ruining the ending for you because I didn't make it that far. I don't remember the last time I gave up on a movie. This is one for the record.

EXORCIST - THE BEGINNING is the pits.
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