Spring Break Shark Attack (2005 TV Movie)
2/10
Note to casting agents: Talentless actors make good shark food
10 April 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This weak TV-movie has the distinction of being the first movie in film history to combine spring breakers, lecherous college-age womanizers, date-rape, overprotective parents, struggling beachfront business owners and sharks in the same picture. It still doesn't make for a good movie.

Shannon Lucio is the girl with the overprotective parent. She lies and heads to Florida for spring break, where she quickly encounters lecherous college-age womanizers: two guys with a camcorder intent on videotaping their conquests—and scoring as many times as they can. But, she is attracted to the local working boy (Riley Smith) whose mom (Kathy Baker) is struggling to run her boat-tour business and trades barbs with another struggling business owner (Bryan Brown) from farther down the beach. And, to attract more business to his bar, Brown is dumping chum in the waters to attract the sharks.

More time is spent on the Lucio and Smith characters than on the sharks, which are more interesting in that there are so many in one area. You would even think with the words "shark attack" in the title, there would be more with them. As it is, all we get are a few attacks before commercial breaks and a goofy, extended scene at the end. The rest of the time we get a worthless WB-style romance between the two leads and a bunch of pointless plot devices (including date rape) with one of the camcorder guys.

Once we get to the "big" shark attack (a very large amount of them make a buffet out of the drunk spring break bathers), our heroes come to the rescue and (with the aid of more chum) lead the sharks back out to sea. If you were a shark and you had lots and lots of live bait to eat right in front of you, would you settle for old cut-up fish instead? I doubt it. This movie is stupid on every level; not that I was expecting more from a TV-movie.
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