1/10
If you really want to cringe,
22 August 2005
pop it in your DVD and turn on English subtitles. Using them is the only way to understand Hanks, who speaks his dialog so softly and into his lapels, that you have to read it. Oh, you could turn up the sound, but then you'd have Wayans screaming MF at the top of his lungs, or Irma Hall doing her Safire Stevens' mother bit at full vibrato. In print Wayans' language looks more puerile than it sounds.

I watched this with my in-laws; he needs the subtitles, but for her, the foul mouths and tasteless gags were too much after forty minutes or so. We were there as company, and every minute sister-in-law was grating her teeth, realizing she could have come to our house to see the final episode of 6 Feet Under. I knew it was going to be a long evening when the dog died introducing one character. How funny those Coens are! I knew the plot, having seen Guinness pull the same robbery, and without tons of character introduction, or needless scenes like the gospel singing in the church after which the minister explains 'smite, smote,' stealing some 70's Black Comedian's shtick about the use of the verb 'to be' and rephrasing it. I kept expecting those master thieves, the Coens, to have Robert Duvall walk in and start preaching.

How smarmy the Coen's have become! They just have to show us how hip they are with their choice of musical interludes. In 'Brother' it was white down home songs; here they prove to be equal opportunity hipsters. And these are the same people who brought Nathan Arizona to the screen. How low can they sink? We went home, turned on Turner Classic and caught "Hunchback" until ready for sleep. I had this horrible thought that perhaps the Coen's would turn their attention to it for a remake, with maybe Anthony Hopkins playing two or three roles. I kept waking up with nightmares. Avoid this disaster at all costs.
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