I've seen some pretty bizarre movies from Hong Kong, and I've long since learned my lesson about old kung-fu movies that have Jackie Chan on the cover. Sure, 'Young Tiger' and 'Eagle Shadow Fist' were terrible, but things like 'Spiritual Kung-Fu', 'Half a Loaf of Kung-Fu', and 'Killer Meteors' were great. In fact, I thought 'Killer Meteors' could not be beaten when it came to random kung-fu awesomeness and fake Jackie Chan movies...
... but then I saw 'Fantasy Mission Force'. And it transcended levels of awesomeness that 'Killer Meteors' could not even dream of. By now, fans of my writing will be saying "But Dave, in your Killer Meteors review, you said, and I quote, that Killer Meteors is 'pure awesomeness'!". Well, I'm sorry, but not even Killer Meteors could quite prepare anyone for 'Fantasy Mission Force'.
I would summarize the plot, but I'm not entirely sure that is even possible. It goes something like this: China, 1944 - a group of crusading kung-fu heroes are assembled by Chinese officers. They have 4 days to travel (on foot) to Luxembourg and rescue captured Allied Generals from some Japanese Nazis who watch too much Mad Max. Hence the 'fantasy' in 'Fantasy Mission Force'.
That was saying nothing about the Chinese Scots, the ninja Amazons, card-playing ghosts, or the movie having the feel of an old silent comedy. 'Fantasy Mission Force' appears to be how Jimmy Wang Yu would have made 'The Dirty Dozen' if he had been under the influence of many, many drugs. I'm not ashamed that I'm easily amused by really random comedy stories, movies etc, and thus 'Fantasy Mission Force' is something of a God-send. It may fall short as a kung-fu movie, but does that really matter when really random scenes depicting Chinese people dressed up as a Scottish marching band come and go? Yet I still think there is some method to all this madness. Did I mention that 'Fantasy Mission Force' is awesome?
... but then I saw 'Fantasy Mission Force'. And it transcended levels of awesomeness that 'Killer Meteors' could not even dream of. By now, fans of my writing will be saying "But Dave, in your Killer Meteors review, you said, and I quote, that Killer Meteors is 'pure awesomeness'!". Well, I'm sorry, but not even Killer Meteors could quite prepare anyone for 'Fantasy Mission Force'.
I would summarize the plot, but I'm not entirely sure that is even possible. It goes something like this: China, 1944 - a group of crusading kung-fu heroes are assembled by Chinese officers. They have 4 days to travel (on foot) to Luxembourg and rescue captured Allied Generals from some Japanese Nazis who watch too much Mad Max. Hence the 'fantasy' in 'Fantasy Mission Force'.
That was saying nothing about the Chinese Scots, the ninja Amazons, card-playing ghosts, or the movie having the feel of an old silent comedy. 'Fantasy Mission Force' appears to be how Jimmy Wang Yu would have made 'The Dirty Dozen' if he had been under the influence of many, many drugs. I'm not ashamed that I'm easily amused by really random comedy stories, movies etc, and thus 'Fantasy Mission Force' is something of a God-send. It may fall short as a kung-fu movie, but does that really matter when really random scenes depicting Chinese people dressed up as a Scottish marching band come and go? Yet I still think there is some method to all this madness. Did I mention that 'Fantasy Mission Force' is awesome?