Review of Steal

Steal (2002)
1/10
Woeful
28 October 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Well to begin with, the plot summary describes something about "five consecutive burglaries, in five days, involving 20 million dollars", but had I not read something similar in the TV guide beforehand, I would not have had one damn clue what was happening. Either I missed it, or the writers completely failed to inform the audience of exactly how many, for how much and why they were doing all of these robberies. And just why they felt the need to do them on ski's and skateboards and other seriously cool stuff like that.

It began with them roller-blading from the first bank job, they count the cash and then "Day 2" flashes up, they are holding their breath underwater, another bank job, "Day 3" flashes up, rock climbing.... er, hang on, can you introduce the main characters first please!

It is hopelessly written, it actually has some of the worst dialogue you're ever likely to hear, some ridiculously poor acting, mainly from police chief Bruce Payne. You really do have to see his performance to believe how inept it is. And I'm still not sure how Slim and Karen ended up writhing around in a sauna, had they even met each other before that?

But you have to feel for Gerard Pires, "Taxi" was great and he was seemingly trying to create something similar hear for an American/worldwide audience, but he falls so short it is untrue. Interestingly enough according to the IMDb business page for this film, it had a budget of $15m and made absolutely nothing back, which is a genuine indicator of just how bad this all is. Never has a Peugeot 406 been missed so much.
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