Review of Zombiez

Zombiez (2005 Video)
2/10
Bad, but fun to mock
1 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
First, a warning. This is a movie that deals with voodoo zombie myths, not the reanimating virus usually featured in this genre. There are no undead anywhere, but rather chemically mind-wiped people with plastic sickles and cap pistols. And red food coloring. Lots of that.

Now, at first glance, this film appears to be a plot less monstrosity with bad acting, bad effects, bad soundtrack, and a misleading title. I dare not risk a second glance, as I fear infection, so we'll stick with the first glance.

I propose that this film be retitled "Wal-Mart Zombies in da Hood," which is a much more honest title. The plastic props and boneless chicken breast failed to convey to me any sense of horror. Furthermore, though the majority of the story takes place in the woods, it is clear that neither the writer nor the actors had ever actually seen a tree prior to shooting. Though there is in fact a plot, it is uncreative, revolving around a cannibal voodoo cult and a meat-smuggling operation, and requires more attention than is probably healthy.

That all being said, the thing does have redeeming value. If you enjoy mocking bad movies (which thank God I do) then you can't get much better than this. My advice: watch this movie with a group of extremely sarcastic friends and just tear the freaking thing apart. Especially the part with the 'car crash.'
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