Supernova (2005 TV Movie)
1/10
Awful
16 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
For those who missed the end : Luke Perry's calculations were incorrect and he had put a + instead of a - in his calculations meaning that the sun was not going to blow up. All of the great minds of America decided it not wise to check the doomsday predictions of one man, deciding instead to just take his word for it. But thats what happens when you get some Beverly Hills 90210 burnout to conduct some Astro Physics research and hire an arab, a Jamaican and a bimbo as his incompetent colleagues.

Perry's mentor who first read his findings and discovered the impending doom of the world did what anyone else would do in the same situation, namely not tell a soul and instead go hang around a beach in South Africa with a blonde local waitress

In breakthrough technology scientists can now watch giant fireballs hurtling towards earth at great speeds by using extremely intelligent satellites which can stand in the path of the fireball whilst filming and then flip round the back of it afterwards to get the perfect shot while it smashes into earth.

A fireball the size of a bus hurtled into earth blowing up a shed with an essential character in it, but had mercy on other buildings leaving them unscathed. In a interesting plot twist the Sydney Opera house was revealed to be made out of wet cardboard when a person hurtled into it after a fireball attack and smashed a hole the size of a small house in it.

Reaffirming my earlier suspicion that fireballs are mans greatest natural predator scenes of fireballs picking out humans and leaving the ground around them unscathed has effected my ability to sleep at night. Also a tip on public safety, when under fireball attack do not hide in well known monuments such as the Taj Mahal or the Eiffel Tower as Fireballs instinctively hunt these landmarks out.

It would also seem that little to my knowledge Australia and South Africa look exactly the same. It also came to me as quite a surprise that white Australians have Black African slaves that call them 'Maam'and never fear if one of them gets shot because more just keep popping up everywhere. It also bears mentioning that there slaves have safe houses on sprawling properties for you to hide out in when being hunted escaped convicts. Another point that is going to have be changed in text books worldwide is that the death penalty is an active part of the Australian legal system.

Gamma rays pounded into earth scaring some birds. When it gets hot dolphins cant handle the heat and all beach. The government decided to only protect Food stores from rioters because "They can have the booze we wont be needing it" much to the delight of rioting Alcoholics and Luke 'Black Liver' Perry. In a startling revelation about human nature it turns out that when it get hot humans decide to riot and set fire to everything around them in an attempt to cool down. Also we got a look into the mind of a rioter when the mob was faced with an angry police force instead of banding together they decided to attack their fellow rioters.

Still showing hes 'Got it' Matthew Perry found the time (in between pondering the fate of the world and saving his family from a killer) to spade 3 girls and also discuss at length why a 16 year old girl was at a party, proving that even when your wife and child are days away from dying not even the Apocalypse can stop a man like Luke Perry making a run at some Asian poon.

A sinister scheme was uncovered by the government to firstly hide the fact that sun was going to blowup, hoping that nobody would notice the fireballs, extreme heat,millions of people dying around them, the disappearance of the sun and the fact that the sea has become the worlds largest deep fryer, hoping that people would write it off as some sort of freaky eclipse or just blame it on that pesky el nino. The 2nd part of this scheme involved rounding up the worlds greatest minds, that by chance were all in Australia at the time and hiding them underground when the sun blows up. All designed for an ambitious attempt to sort out the ensuing over heating problem with a little dry ice and then bring them out of hiding after it 'all blows over' and begin construction of the new sun.

In an ambitious move Wayne's Asian Girlfriend from Wayne's World decided to drive from Sydney to St Louis with only her good looks and ill conceived idea to aid her. Unfortunately her cross continental driving trip was cut short by a bullet wound 10 minutes out of town but not before using her final breath to add to Luke Perry's swelling ego by telling him that he quite a catch.

A group of scientists decided to back up all the data and leave it for someone to find after everyone in the world is boiled to death. A child murder took little notice of the approaching Armageddon and decided instead to travel halfway across Australia to kill a little girl.Then Luke got back to his family and jumped into the bizarre and not explained sub plot, killing the murder who showed determination and a will to succeed that should be applauded, his demonstration of keeping 'your eye on the prize' will surely appear in the next Tony Robbins 'power hour'.

Also another tip for would be heroes, when you find out that world isn't going to end don't bother telling anybody, instead copulate with your wife and let everybody outside kill each other in riots.
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