Ghoulies (1984)
5/10
Bait and Switch
4 February 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Ghoulies kinda threw me for a loop. For years, I had seen the old VHS box moldering away in the backlist at the video store, with the li'l creature popping out of the toilet, and I thought, Gremlins rip-off, figured I'd know the whole plot from scene one, and never bothered. But I finally caught it, and found nothing like I expected. Not that that turned out to be a terribly good thing, but at least it gave me a moment of hope.

Jonathan Graves inherits the old ancestral mansion, and discovers that he apparently comes from a long line of satanic occultists. Of course, he can't help but pick up the old family tradition. His friends think this is eccentric, and his girlfriend Rebbecca thinks he's a worthless slacker who's wasting time he could be spending fixing up the house. But he gets results, and soon the mansion is populated with a startling number of tiny demon puppets and two helpful midgets that only Jonathan can see.

Rebecca finally puts her foot down and demands an end to all the Satanism, so what does Jonathan do? He mind-controls her, which not only ends her criticism, but allows him to dress her up in slutty outfits. (This is where any remaining sympathy I had for Jonathan went out the window.) Then he invites all his friends up so that he can use them in an occult ritual which he believes will grant him vast power, but which actually resurrects his dead, Satanist ancestor (dad? gramps? I was never really sure), who shows up spoiling for a fight.

The puppets go (mildly) berserk, everyone dies, and Jonathan and Gramps have their showdown. Of course, good triumphs (if you can consider a guy who's been summoning demons, bargaining for occult power, and mind-controlling his girlfriend, the good guy). Then, everybody comes back to life in one of the biggest cheats in all slasherdom. Have they no shame?
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