Now here we see the other end of the extreme when it comes to movies with or without charisma. Earlier tonight I subjected myself to 1988's TEEN VAMP, an anemic attempt to blend comedy antics, American Graffiti nostalgia and vampire hyjinx that had all the charisma of a small soap dish from the dollar store. Now, we watch DEATH BY DIALOGUE, also from 1988 and a vehicle for the then red-hot Ken Sagoes, which by comparison is *ALL* charisma. It is entertaining, risqué, inappropriately amusing, riddled with nudity & graphic gore, filled with loud, cheesy 80's rock, has a muddled, incomprehensible plot line with maybe six brain cells in it's at times pretty head, and I've watched it twice now. No idea what happens during the story, but it's fun, sleazy, colorful and at times pretty inventive.
The movie is supposedly about a group of teen agers who are all pushing 26 or so that find themselves trapped in a web of terror & murder patterned after a movie script found in the basement of a house next to a studio. What it *REALLY* is about, however, is blond girls with nice butts + bewbs, 1980s fashions & hair styles, low budget direct to home video horror movie production, and people getting their heads chopped off, exploded by horrific 80's arena metal rock, skewered with large chopping/cutting instruments, and seeing the blond girls with the nice bodies without their clothes on. By concentrating it's sights directly on the gutter and shooting straight about it's nature the movie succeeds brilliantly: This is the best party movie I have seen since NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR.
Anyone looking for serious acting, artful cinematography, meaningful dialog and socially aware thematic relevance would be well advised to rent ERIN BROKOVICH and give their brains a rest. But if you need a movie to drink beer to here you go. A typical scene has a guy dressed up like Clancy Brown from HIGHLANDER swinging his sword around like a fool while pyrotechnic explosions highlight his two evil minions jumping their motorcycles while the Scorpion-esquire arena rock chugs out the beat. It looks waaay cool, but whatever ideas there are behind the imagery are not manifest. Here is a movie that is all surface image, devoid of sub-textural agendas and meanings that go beyond the obvious. My favorite part starts with a couple fornicating up in a barn loft: We are treated to ample shots of the amply chested blond riding her amply-bellied lover while weird, dry ice fog and blue lit events disturb the structure. At the height of their sexual coupling the female is literally blown through the wall of the barn to her (unseen) doom, and the understandably perplexed porker whom she had been riding stumbles out with his fashionable yellow trousers around his ankles, wondering aloud wazzup. He then has a nightmarish run through a patch of woods before coming upon an 80's Arena Rock Metal band playing "When The Ax Does Fall" or whatever it's called. They look like Def Leppard's unlucky younger brother. And again, at the climax of their performance the guitarist swings his guitar around in the air like Steve Jones from that Sex Pistols movie and smashes it down on the head of the bewildered porker, which naturally causes it to explode into a ball of spewing mush.
What does it all mean? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And if you look for meaning or depth in this film you will be wasting your time. But if you want to laugh, check out hawt babez in various states of undress, see people get their heads chopped off and stuff get blowed up real good, bingo. I admire the movie's honesty in not trying to be anything but complete crap, and having a sense of humor about itself that is quite refreshing. So here you go: Two movies, same year, same kind of productions (though DEATH BY DIALOGUE does look like it had a healthier budget than TEEN VAMP), same kind of target audience, same medium of home video oriented productions and they could not have turned out more differently if they had been aware of each other & made a point to be different. DEATH BY DIALOGUE is easily the stupider of the two, but at least has the distinction of being entertaining.
7/10: The expression "Garbage In, Garbage Out" comes to mind.
The movie is supposedly about a group of teen agers who are all pushing 26 or so that find themselves trapped in a web of terror & murder patterned after a movie script found in the basement of a house next to a studio. What it *REALLY* is about, however, is blond girls with nice butts + bewbs, 1980s fashions & hair styles, low budget direct to home video horror movie production, and people getting their heads chopped off, exploded by horrific 80's arena metal rock, skewered with large chopping/cutting instruments, and seeing the blond girls with the nice bodies without their clothes on. By concentrating it's sights directly on the gutter and shooting straight about it's nature the movie succeeds brilliantly: This is the best party movie I have seen since NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR.
Anyone looking for serious acting, artful cinematography, meaningful dialog and socially aware thematic relevance would be well advised to rent ERIN BROKOVICH and give their brains a rest. But if you need a movie to drink beer to here you go. A typical scene has a guy dressed up like Clancy Brown from HIGHLANDER swinging his sword around like a fool while pyrotechnic explosions highlight his two evil minions jumping their motorcycles while the Scorpion-esquire arena rock chugs out the beat. It looks waaay cool, but whatever ideas there are behind the imagery are not manifest. Here is a movie that is all surface image, devoid of sub-textural agendas and meanings that go beyond the obvious. My favorite part starts with a couple fornicating up in a barn loft: We are treated to ample shots of the amply chested blond riding her amply-bellied lover while weird, dry ice fog and blue lit events disturb the structure. At the height of their sexual coupling the female is literally blown through the wall of the barn to her (unseen) doom, and the understandably perplexed porker whom she had been riding stumbles out with his fashionable yellow trousers around his ankles, wondering aloud wazzup. He then has a nightmarish run through a patch of woods before coming upon an 80's Arena Rock Metal band playing "When The Ax Does Fall" or whatever it's called. They look like Def Leppard's unlucky younger brother. And again, at the climax of their performance the guitarist swings his guitar around in the air like Steve Jones from that Sex Pistols movie and smashes it down on the head of the bewildered porker, which naturally causes it to explode into a ball of spewing mush.
What does it all mean? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And if you look for meaning or depth in this film you will be wasting your time. But if you want to laugh, check out hawt babez in various states of undress, see people get their heads chopped off and stuff get blowed up real good, bingo. I admire the movie's honesty in not trying to be anything but complete crap, and having a sense of humor about itself that is quite refreshing. So here you go: Two movies, same year, same kind of productions (though DEATH BY DIALOGUE does look like it had a healthier budget than TEEN VAMP), same kind of target audience, same medium of home video oriented productions and they could not have turned out more differently if they had been aware of each other & made a point to be different. DEATH BY DIALOGUE is easily the stupider of the two, but at least has the distinction of being entertaining.
7/10: The expression "Garbage In, Garbage Out" comes to mind.