My type of rotten 80's cheesy exactly! "Nail Gun Massacre" is commonly known as one of the absolute lousiest slashers ever, a reputation it definitely lives up to, but I can't help enjoying every insipid moment of it! All the trademarks for a horrendous slasher are there: awful acting performances, 100% pointless and gratuitous boob shots, thoroughly lousy dialogues and the extreme gore! It's simply a wonderful film, or to use the biggest cliché of horror reviewing: they just don't make 'em like this anymore! The least you can say about Bill Leslie's and Terry Lofton's "masterpiece" is that it doesn't waste any valuable time. The whole point of the movie is already illustrated during the three-minute pre-credits intro, when a bunch of hillbilly construction workers rape a defenseless girl. Only seconds later, one of them is already severely punished for his bad behavior by someone dressed in an army camouflage outfit and operating the titular tool as a weapon. After the credits, which uses cheesy and hysterical laughter for music, the handy avenger cheerfully continues to nail people down, only now he/she says something incredibly stupid every time he fires his/her weapon. After a good twenty minutes, half of the redneck population is already dead, while the local doctor and dumb sheriff are still cleaning up the blood of the first victim. The pacing slows down a little then, since new moronic characters need to be introduced first. But, no worries, the gore only gets sicker, the sleaze only sleazier, and the killer's one-liners more retarded. Too bad the victims die BEFORE they get to hear his/her witty remarks. Also, the initial revenge motive doesn't stand anymore, as he/she is just randomly wasting horny teenagers like the average 80s slasher does. Yes, it's one of the worst of the decade, but guaranteed also one of the single most entertaining slashers out there!
Review of The Nail Gun Massacre
