Fake-Out (1982)
2/10
Matt Cimber fakes US out with a crappy rehash of an earlier feature.
7 August 2006
Welcome to Remake Hell (and you thought that was just happening today!).

Face it, Remake Hell is eternal. It's been going on for decades and hasn't just been happening in the past 10 or so years. This time in 1982's FAKE-OUT, director Matt Cimber reshoots (almost scene for scene) his own prior fiasco from 1975, LADY COCOA (see http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073259 for details about this turgid 1975 mess). This time, Pia Zadora takes on the lead role (originally portrayed by Miss Lola Falana in LADY COCOA), and the results are NO noticeably better. Both films suck, and FAKE-OUT's addition of more noteworthy supporting stars (like Telly Savalas and Desi Arnaz, Jr.) doesn't help matters any. It wasn't a bad plot to begin with, but Cimber doesn't elevate the story or improve the writing since his 1975 outing with the same material. It's a wonder he hasn't remade this film four or five MORE times over with other Vegas headliners like Taylor Dayne or Mariah Carey!

That said, this is still great fun for Zadora fans (or hecklers). But if you've seen LADY COCOA you may become easily bored by the grade-Z script, cut-rate production values (the Riviera casino looks pretty shoddy, actually), and the predictability of it all.

There is one apparently notorious (and charming) shower scene early on in the film where we learn that Pia's acting skills have a definite ceiling. As she's made to cooperate sexually with some fellow inmates, she turns on this blank stare that we all know (and love) from moments such as these in THE LONELY LADY. It's like a trademark for Pia. Kinda like that strange, Kabuki stare that Faye Dunaway would occasionally give off after a tirade in MOMMIE DEAREST. Strange stuff, but compelling for its utter badness.

I have to say I was really disappointed in this Matt Cimber extravaganza. It started out OK but as soon as I figured out this was a remake of an earlier, abysmal project, I found myself checking my watch to see how much longer it would run. That was at about the 15 minute mark.

Pia's opening "number" (the only one in the flick) over which the titles are displayed is pretty fun stuff -- in a thoroughly cheezy way, of course. Freeze-frame moments of Pia shaking her booty, complete with added optical effects are perfect. Too bad FAKE-OUT didn't contain more of these types of scenes.
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