Savage Harbor (1987)
1/10
Alone they're dangerous...together they're awesome
11 August 2006
The above is the tag line on the front of the video box. Slight error, it should be 'together they are awful.' It's Stallone and Mitchum together in this film...sadly, it's Frank Stallone and Chris Mitchum...

Playing two sailors on shore leave, Frank falls in love with a hooker, who is then kidnapped by her pimp, then it's Frank and Chris to the rescue! Armed only with their mullets, they try and fail to reach the dizzy heights of barely competent in this bad revenge film.

Frank's acting style seems to consist of standing, legs slightly akimbo in a gunslinger stance and trying to look menacing. Frank would probably make a good minor heavy but he's not a leading man. The hookers keep telling him he is 'cute,' as if trying to convince us too. Yes, if you consider a rottweiler to be cute and cuddly.

You just haven't seen bad acting till you see Frank trying to emote over the supposed death of the woman he loved. Truly one of the most cringe worthy scenes in cinematic history. Perhaps this is what the video box back cover synopsis means when it says, 'all-action finale, the likes of which have rarely been seen on the screen.' For which we should be truly thankful, I think!!

As for Chris Mitchum, he seems to be just along to hang about in the local bar and ogle the dancer in a dull sub-plot about commitment. His father, Robert Mitchum, was never a great actor but he did have that illusive 'screen presence,' that a lot of movie stars possess. His son doesn't have this and is just an okay actor who's role here is just really a supporting one.

Overall a pretty bad film, full of poor acting, the leading lady actually makes Frank look good at times! Direction is static at best and the script is full of holes, with a credulity defying ending which is just tagged on to give the film a happy ending.

Avoid and spend time on something more interesting, like counting your toenail clippings.
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