Start with aliens coming to Earth to find the Earth's monsters and use them against humankind. These aliens are nothing more than humans "acting" like they are aliens and looking just like anyone else. Total special effects cost: $0.00 Add a Dracula - found at a carnival no less - just waiting to be brought back to life. He has a cape and fangs but no acting talent. Total special effects cost: $50.00(maybe) Put in a wolf-man - not just any wolf-man but Waldemar Danisky no less - he too just waiting around for someone to find a way to bring him back to life while he reposes in a church. This monster comes off the best because Paul Naschy plays him once again and the hairy makeup is pretty decent overall. Total special effect cost: $500(not counting Naschy's salary of course). Next, stir in the cheesiest Frankenstein's Monster out there - who looks like a hefty Ricardo Montalban in makeup. He has a square box head and looks decidedly unconvincing lumbering around. Total special effects cost: $100 Just for added flavor, put in an anorexic, slower-than-slow mummy. The mummy does a lot of eye rolling though. Total cost for bandages: $10. Having aliens, a vampire, a lycanthrope, a mummified monster, and a powerful creature made from the dead all in one film - NOT PRICELESS! This film is bad but enjoyable none the less for it is entertaining to see and hear the ineptitude that abounds. The film is based in a house rented by "aliens" who are gathering all the monsters and prodding them until they can discover the secrets within them and unleash these secrets on mankind so they can take over the planet. Where have I heard something along these lines before? Oh, that's right in dozens of movies predating this one. The film is a Spanish production and part of Paul Naschy's Waldemar Danisky cycle. Naschy is competent and one of the better parts of the film, but the other monsters look so ludicrous and are used so laboriously that none come off as really anything more than poor foreign knockoffs(which of course they are). Veteran British actor Michael Rennie, in his last "major" film before succumbing to emphysema, is unquestionably the best thing in this whole mess. While giving the film some class, Rennie sounds just too absurd with the witless dialog he has to utter. Helping him along are the beautiful Karin Dor, Helga Geissler, and Patty Sheperd - all looking quite appealing but lacking any real talent. Special effects are atrocious and the ending has to be seen to be believed. My favorite scene in the whole film is the one in the crypts of the house/laboratory where Danisky fight off the monsters one by one. He battling the mummy is a real hoot! The set designs; however, are fairly authentic, and the film would have been so much better with a more cohesive plot and some more realistic monsters. The film is fun though and should provide many unintentional laughs.
Review of Assignment Terror
