Review of Armageddon

Armageddon (1998)
2/10
Badly written and offensive
25 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this film last night.

And I'm worried I'm turning into one of those left-wing liberals they rightly make fun of in South Park. Because I found it hugely offensive. Am I being ridiculously sensitive? Firstly, there's the old staple that is America being the only country in the world that is physically capable of anything, ever.

Secondly, and chillingly, there is the early meteor strike hitting some (unnamed – why do they need a name?) Asian country. The reaction to this is to look at it as a warning. As in "my god, imagine the tragedy that *could* happen". Because, you know, it happened to Asians. It might happen to white Americans, and *that* would be tragic.

Then, later on, a bigger meteor hits Paris. Our cast on the ground are irritated, because this might mean our boys have less time than they thought. Not much upset in America. No mention that a lot of people have died.

Then there's Michael Clarke Duncan. A wonderful actor, wasted. Never has a black man been so token. Among a team of hardcore drillers, his job seems to consist of standing in the back, occasionally saying "Hey, you da man." Really. Why did they even bring him? It's not like he's petite - he weighed down that shuttle for nothing! Not once does he lift a tool, steer a space ship or even help fix anything that blows up.

Even if you ignore the Russian Cosmonaut (Peter Stormare, another great actor wasted in a pointless role), who seems drunk most of the time and hits things with spanners instead of fixing them because "Dat's how we do dese dings in Russia", it's pretty horrific.

All cemented of course by the site of blond, blue-eyed American children all celebrating in corn fields at being saved and everything being all right. Because all the death and destruction to the rest of the world is irrelevant.

You expect the bad script, the dodgy acting, the implausible plot (fat, middle aged men being trained in 12 days to be astronauts? Including one who appears to be retarded?). But I couldn't believe the racism and xenophobia implied in the film, and the callous disregard for the lives of anyone not corn-fed American.

It's a chilling indictment of the attitude of a section of Western Society to the world.

And it's a crappy film too.
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