Review of The V Word

Masters of Horror: The V Word (2006)
Season 2, Episode 3
5/10
A Story About a Vampire and a Morgue
23 January 2007
Two video game loving young men decide to break into a mortuary in the middle of the night, only to discover the attendant with his throat ripped out and blood everywhere. Oh, and a vampire, too! After one of the two is killed by the vampire, how will the other defeat him? Or will he? This episode comes from director Ernest Dickerson ("Bones") and writer Mick Garris ("Chocolate"), two people who are not really "masters of horror" in the eyes of the mainstream. And choosing vampires as your plot is really nothing new or creative (and they don't take it in any new directions).

Now, the movie has the point of view of a vampire, or someone turning into a vampire, who does not wish to become fully undead. I'm pretty sure this has been covered in the past in other films, but an interesting story just the same. Vampires are typically seen as evil or (at best) misunderstood, but rarely do we see vampires who didn't want to be vampires. How far will they go to rid themselves of the vampiric cravings? Others have said they enjoyed the police 911 calls, and sure, they're alright. I didn't think they were amazing, and quite frankly it was unclear to me if they really happened or if he was imagining making the calls. The movie in general really wasn't that funny. It had some okay references ("Doom 3" and naming the vampire Chaney after Lon Chaney) but it was still weak.

The vampire was played by Michael Ironside, who is like the poor man's Jack Nicholson. He did a fine job. Nothing much more I can say... well, except I also liked the black contact lenses. Nice touch.

This episode was alright, but again nothing special. Season two is just not what season one was. Up through episode five, I saw one episode I liked (John Landis' "Family"), so that's not a good sign when I have only 8 more to go. Maybe you're be more generous and forgiving, but if this is a trend, season three will be a nightmare.
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