The Conqueror (1956)
3/10
What A Price
24 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
If the rumors are true in fact and the whole cast was stricken with cancer as a result of atomic tests nearby, than The Conqueror in some respects may have been the most expensive bad film in the history of the cinema.

There's a famous story about the differing attitudes of Walter Huston and Thomas Mitchell that Jane Russell tells in her memoirs about that other Howard Hughes epic, The Outlaw. She relates that Mitchell moaned and groaned throughout the shoot that this film would ruin him as an actor and why did he ever sign for it. On the other hand Walter Huston's attitude was to laugh uproariously at the awful dialog he had to spout and said since Howard's check cleared the bank he'd say any words in the script.

Hopefully Howard's check cleared the bank for all concerned, because a decent pay day is the only reason for everyone from John Wayne and Susan Hayward on down to have stuck it out.

What everyone doesn't get about The Conqueror is that it has a very gay subtext. It's obvious that Pedro Armendariz is crushing out big time on the Duke. They may have even gotten a little physical. But that all changes for Wayne the second his Mongol made up eyes set sight of red headed Tartar princess Susan Hayward. It's girls for him now, especially this one.

Viewers might disagree, but I swear it's the only explanation for what happens in the rest of the film. Armendariz alternately betrays Wayne and rescues him for no discernible reason throughout the rest of the story. When Wayne finally takes care of all his enemies, Armendariz who won't share Wayne with Hayward or anybody asks to be put to death.

So help me that's the plot of The Conqueror. Everyone from Wayne on down looks as trapped as Thomas Mitchell was in The Outlaw. But they all must have gotten the money up front.

Fortunately John Ford would rescue Wayne with two back to back classics in succeeding years, The Searchers in 1956 and Wings of Eagles in 1957. Now those are really good John Wayne films.

What more can I say, the acting is terrible, the story is awful, even the technical aspects of this film leave a lot to be desired. It only gets as high a rating as it does because of the quality of the cast, maybe the most shameful waste of talent players in the history of cinema in every sense of the word.
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