Review of The Nun

The Nun (2005)
5/10
The Nun
24 June 2007
Warning: Spoilers
"So let me get this straight, are you trying to tell me that all this is some sort of I Know What You Did 18 Summers Ago or something?"

Sister Ursula(Cristina Piaget), murdered by her students and thrown in the pond near the Catholic school she taught them, returns in watery form to kill those who took her life 18 years later when the watering hole that was her place of rest is dried out by the Thermal Heating Spa planning to place their site there. Each now-adult student of Ursula's is killed in the form of the portrait of their patron saint counterparts hanging on the wall in the school which was shut down after the nun's disappearance. Eve(Anita Briem)finds her mom's throat being slit by the liquefied nun as Ursula flees out the window. It's Eve's new mission to find the other students who attended with her mom in the hopes of understanding what exactly has spurned the events taking place. She doesn't exactly understand what her mother and those students did one day many years ago and finds that each person who partook in Ursula's demise die in various gruesome ways, most right before her eyes. Eve receives assistance from a seminary student, Gabriel(Manu Fullola)with past emotional baggage of his own, when she travels to Barcelona with her high school chums looking for answers. They will make their way to the closed-down school as Eve meets with the two remaining students left alive as the nun plans to finish her quest.

If one can look past the hokey premise, and terrible explanation of who the nun is by dufus Joel(Alistair Freeland), then there's some good, inspired moments in this flick. The watery nun creation is obviously more than inspired by the Ring's Samara, but she is quite a creepy concoction Yuzna and company's Fantastic Factory have come up with. Lots of gruesome decapitations such as one woman's arms being sliced off by an elevator and one woman's head being sheared off by a sliding piece of broken window glass. Anita Briem is merely okay as the heroine, but most of the cast have a hard time combating the English language. The production values are surprisingly good for a flick such as this and it's stylishly photographed. It's a glossy bad movie, but one that at least leaves somewhat an impression. The ending, as silly as it's explained, is marred with an unsatisfying resolution.
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