Its going to be extremely difficult to find a mature and civil way to describe how I felt after watching this... movie...
I really hated Alone in the Dark. I don't hate many movies. I was even able to find redeeming qualities in hot garbage like Battlefield Earth and Zardoz, but this pile of tedious bear poo really pushed my patience to the limit. I wanted to turn it off. I wanted to go to sleep. But I kept watching for the sake of the review I am writing now.
Nothing was good about this movie. The story was forgettable (I seriously don't remember it), the acting was high school talent show-ish, and the script was a mistake. It had to have been a mistake. I can't find another way to explain how a script as bad as the one used for Alone in the Dark could have been written. And the action... Director - "Lets play some rock music while the actors shoot guns in a dark room! Wooo! It'll look cool." Not an exact quote, but I bet it comes close.
Alone in the Dark isn't "so bad its good." Its just so bad. It was so bad the filmmakers had to add a 200 word title scroll just to clarify their mess for the test audience who originally screened it. And even with the backstory literally typed out on the screen during the intro, much of the film still doesn't make any sense.
Don't even bother watching this beast.
I really hated Alone in the Dark. I don't hate many movies. I was even able to find redeeming qualities in hot garbage like Battlefield Earth and Zardoz, but this pile of tedious bear poo really pushed my patience to the limit. I wanted to turn it off. I wanted to go to sleep. But I kept watching for the sake of the review I am writing now.
Nothing was good about this movie. The story was forgettable (I seriously don't remember it), the acting was high school talent show-ish, and the script was a mistake. It had to have been a mistake. I can't find another way to explain how a script as bad as the one used for Alone in the Dark could have been written. And the action... Director - "Lets play some rock music while the actors shoot guns in a dark room! Wooo! It'll look cool." Not an exact quote, but I bet it comes close.
Alone in the Dark isn't "so bad its good." Its just so bad. It was so bad the filmmakers had to add a 200 word title scroll just to clarify their mess for the test audience who originally screened it. And even with the backstory literally typed out on the screen during the intro, much of the film still doesn't make any sense.
Don't even bother watching this beast.