6/10
Where are the pros of yesteryear?
10 September 2007
Warning: Spoilers
In "The Seven Pillars of Wisdom," T. E. Lawrence describes in the simplest terms how the Turkish army treated him when he was their captive. "They handled me unspeakably." That could go for just about every character in "The Candy Stripers." They do everything unspeakable to one another. And speakable too.

Unabashed pornography from the Golden Age, of this film it can truly be said, they don't make 'em like this anymore. This was before glabrous became glamorous so every pore is exposed and examined in detail by the camera. If you can think of any part of the human body of either sex that is accessible to another, it is accessed. Follicle for follicle this is the equal of anything ever seen on celluloid.

I don't know about the guys but the women aren't that unattractive either. One of especially magnetic appearance goes under the name of "Amber Hunt." One can only imagine what it was before that -- some Czechoslovakian jawbreaker, I'll bet.

Not a soul in the film could act his or her way out of a paper bag, but does it really matter? Must they be able to act? It's like asking an Olympic weight lifter to sing an aria -- I don't know -- La Donna e Mobile? -- while he performs, completely irrelevant to the goings on. The significance of the act lies outside the realm of the aesthetic.

I can imagine a lot of people might find this pretty disgusting. Men, more than women, might find it erotic before it gets boring. I suppose it could be revolting. Who wants to watch two strangers, about whom we know absolutely nothing, grappling on a hospital bed? And suppose -- just suppose -- that people in real life started imitating what they witnessed on screen? Come to think of it, though, the consequences might not be as devastating as if they'd watched a marathon of Freddy Krueger movies. To each his own, in any case. This is a free country. Live and let live. De gustibus non disputandum est. One man's meat is another man's poisson. Honi soit qui mal y pense. And furthermore give me liberty or give me death.
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