Review of We All Scream for Ice Cream

I have seen almost all episodes of the generally great "Masters Of Horror" series, and the episodes sure differ in quality. Some episodes (such as "Pelts", "Imprint", "The Black Cat" or "The Washingtonians") are downright brilliant, most others are highly entertaining, and some episodes disappoint. Tom Holland's "We All Scream For Ice Cream" is one of the disappointing episodes, or, more precisely, pretty much the worst episode after Ernest R. Dickerson's terrible "V-Word". Holland deserves respect for "Child's Play" and "Fright Night", but his MoH episode is sadly quite a failure. It is not necessarily the director's fault that "We All Scream For Ice Cream" doesn't work, however, since the script and the whole idea are just so plain stupid that only a genius could have made something decent out of it. I usually don't mind movies being silly, since I can enjoy them as long as they're entertaining. Horror movies furthermore don't necessarily have to be "realistic", but they should have a certain logic. "We All Scream For Ice Cream" is just a bit too flat to be enjoyable. I am a fan of odd ideas in Horror films, but this one's premise is just too stupid to be scary or entertaining. At least the V-Word had Michael Ironside.

• SPOILERS! - The vengeful ghost of an ice cream selling clown comes back from the dead. He doesn't simply haunt or murder those who have once done him wrong, however. No, this villainous guy sells some mysterious Ice Cream to the kids of those he means to punish. Then, when the kids eat the ice cream, the parents melt - like ice cream. Wow! The idiocy of this storyline has yet to find an equal. One of the evil Clown's victims-to-be, is wise enough to tell his wife to get the kids out of town. It's quite unfortunate that his wife is an idiot who doesn't get the kids out of town because she thinks it's 'crazy' (in spite of the fact that people constantly melt in her lovely hometown)...

"We All Scream For Ice Cream" may have some qualities (very few, to be honest). The performances are OK. William Forsythe delivers a decent performance as Buster, the Clown who comes back as an evil ghost. It must also be appreciated when a child actor manages to seem evil or cruel, and it must therefore be mentioned that Samuel Patrick Chu does a very good job being a truly sadistic little bastard in a flashback sequence. Other than acceptable performances and decent CGI (sigh), "We All Scream For Ice Cream" has little to offer. It's simply too flat, too silly, and (at least in my opinion) it was not scary at all. My advice: Switch this one (as well as "The V-Word), and watch the other episodes.