3/10
Irredeemably Passé
5 November 2007
ITV evidently imagined that they were breaking new ground with this sassy combination of prostitution and Billie Piper; in reality this series is a re-hash of everything from Sex And The City to Footballer's Wives.

If Secret Diary of a Call Girl can claim have instigated any 'controversy' whatsoever, it is only among ITV's sexually repressed prime-time demographic who will still baulk at the broadcasting of an underexposed nipple or a glib f-word (uttered in Piper's objectionable mockney accent). This is, put bluntly, television for those whose viewing habits extend little beyond Coronation Street or The X-Factor. Certainly, anybody familiar with a typical E4 sex drama – such 2005's Sugar Rush, which Call Girl's post-feminist trappings obviously ape – will fail to be impressed by high-class escort Belle de Jours's attempts to reconcile her alternate career choice with a 'normal' life. While a show like this year's Skins, another sex-fuelled romp, could comfortably exist in an absurd world of drugs and drama, Call Girl's affectedly serious moments sit unevenly with Belle's lightweight sexual exploits.

The much-touted sex scenes are staggeringly unerotic. One need only sample a few minutes of Andrew Davies' recent Fanny Hill on BBC4 to see how comedy and sensuality can be effectively combined. Davies, admittedly, has wiled away much of his career perfecting a method of injecting sexual activity into moribund period dramas, but Call Girl's sex – surely the selling point of such a series – is perfunctory to a point. It gives one the impression that neither Piper nor anyone on either side of the camera is at all comfortable, and would far prefer to be filming an episode of Heartbeat. ITV's decision to shoe-horn Call Girl into choppy thirty-minute episodes further demonstrates their counter-productive adherence to the soap format and its banal production values.

Unimaginative, complacent and irredeemably passé, Secret Diary of Call Girl will only be remembered for show-casing Piper's not particularly photogenic breasts. While some outspoken critics have recently sought to raise a moral panic by highlighting it as an example of sexual liberalisation in mainstream television, the average Channel 4-produced show remains more offensive and certainly more enjoyable.
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