This is like the 80's B movie bastard child of the Crow and the Matrix without any of the good bits. It's so bad that it past where bad becomes funny and it just bad. Coloured contact lenses aren't really all that exciting any more, especially when the guy wearing the white ones can't get them to stay in the middle of his eyes, making him look like he trying to see in two directions at once. To go on about the major plot flaws, a plot twist you see coming a mile off, characters so clichéd as to be almost offensive and all the other aspects of the film that make this film so unwatchable would be to miss a perfect opportunity to go on about the painful accents that most of the cast put on, where there seems a real attempt to sound legitimately American, but it's like watching someone try to lick their elbow. You can ignore it for a while but in the end you wish they'd just stop what's obviously futile. Especially when they shout. Then it just sounds like Crocodile Dundee just burned himself on his crack pipe, but less funny. That's not to say there was nothing good. at least 25 seconds of the action was fun to watch and in fairness the leading man was commendable. But the most telling thing I can say about Gabriel is that when the guy behind me answered his phone half way through, I found the distraction a welcome piece of entertainment.
Review of Gabriel
