Review of St. Trinian's

"Chaved up" for the millennium comes a timely if unwanted remake of the 'St. Trinian' films of the sixties. St. Trinians is the worst school in the country known for bad grades and unruly behaviour and an equally eccentric and unruly headmistress, Miss. Fritton, it's targeted for severe investigation by Education new broom Geoffrey Thwaites. With the bank looming round the door, things pad out even worse for the school. Even Fritton's caddish brother plans to twist the knife to make money from the school's misfortune, even with his daughter's recent enrolment. This as such serves the plot for the unruly behaviour to ring out, cue a bizarre heist, a "University Challenge" style quiz and general anarchy in the name of saving the school. But it's here 'Trinians' is woefully misguided. What was considered anarchy and amusingly unusual behaviour in the time of the original films, simply is the teenage norm now. Drug-peddling, booze loving, flirtatious schoolgirls are more a problem these days then a source for comedy so the underlying tone becomes somewhat sinister. The film tries to have it's cake and eat it. Drinking is only implied by kids, never actually seen and only older characters are seen dispensing 'uppers' and 'downers' to unwitting participants for 'amusing results'. 'Poshy totty' flirt and dress provocatively but never actually are seen in an embrace. It's this kind of humour which proves even worse baring in mind it's target audience. It takes the film to a seedy and unpleasant level, pitching knowing drug-jokes at kids, many of which ask us to laugh at people 'buzzing' many of whom have had drinks spiked. Definitely the films lowest low. Family friendly? I don't think so.... How this film ended up with a '12a' certificate in the UK is beyond me! Add to this unwanted sexual jokes and you have a film far too adult for kids but too childish for adults. Of course, with some nifty direction and timing, 'Trinians' could maybe make this fly, but the film has neither. The characterisation poor, the plot threadbare, painfully predictable and struggling to add up. The resolvent of the key heist rendered pointless when the exact object of theft isn't even needed. Even when 'Trinians' is aiming for smart it fails. Numerous 'Girl With A Pearl Earring' jokes are no doubt lost on it's key audience, probably thankfully as they are of 'christmas cracker' standard at best. Colin Firth is top of his game in a film you'd assume he'd be out of place in, TV personality, Russell Brand, you'd believe has been thrust into the proceedings to score some street cred, but thankfully is more than acceptable but the usually excellent Rupert Everett is hamming it up just a notch too much here. Kudos go to it's teenage cast (one has to weep at the already pretty Talulah Riley, given a 'slutted-up' makeover in one scene). Overall the acting is decent, making even the worst of lines bearable. The film tries to whip up a frenzy of enthusiasm and fun, but as UK girl group Girls Aloud stomp on in the finale shouting a song about 'discount rates for Chavs and their mates' you pretty much feel the whole thing is just tawdry and cheap. Much like it's level of humour and even more upset tingly, it's level of decency.