Review of Hack!

Hack! (2007)
8/10
Everyone Hates This Film... Except Me!
30 December 2007
A group of students go to an island to study biology, although they all seem to like discussing horror films and almost no one wants to actually do their work. Drugs and sex are rampant, and the island's residents are a bit odd. Not "odd" in a weird way so much as eccentric, so the students go along with it. Then someone decides to kill the kids... and suspicions fall on one after another suspect.

Danica McKellar stars in this film as teacher's assistant Emily Longley. When the movie began and Danica entered the screen, I was smitten: I knew I had found possibly the most beautiful woman in movies (aside from my all-time favorites of Mandy Moore and Christina Ricci). So I looked her up and was shocked -- this was Winnie Cooper from "The Wonder Years" (who was never "hot" by any means, even though I think many kids had a crush on her for some reason). So, my point is: McKellar as the shy, bespectacled teacher's aide... priceless.

From there on out, I can understand why this film is generally considered pretty lackluster. It has a cheese factor somewhere between Gouda and Camembert. The movie rips off other horror films -- many character names are horror-based (Argento, Carpenter, etc.) and there's countless references (the boat being named Orca after the "we're going to need a bigger boat" line was awesome). If you don't love horror, these jokes are not funny... and even if you do, it might take a special kind of humor (the film is called "Hack" -- lighten up!).

Treat the movie like a game, and see how many references and rip-offs you can catch. Some are obvious (they directly mention a variety of films, including the Billy Zane classic "Dead Calm") and others not so much. I guarantee you I missed some of the references -- now I have to watch it again, and I gladly would.

Horror fans will also like the nudity (it's limited but it's here) and the blood. We got chainsaws, piranhas, sharp blades and even a scene with samurai or something (a reference I definitely missed). I can't wait to see it again so I can write a better review... oh yeah, Kane Hodder shows up briefly, too, and William Forsythe is a weird Scottish groundskeeper. Just watch this!!!
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