Traditional movie reviews will often give a hint as to the plot of the film. Sadly, I am thoroughly incapable of doing this, as that RECON 2022: THE MEZZO INCIDENT is not actually a movie. Rather, it is a series of loosely connected events involving the same merry band of hockey-helmeted-heroes found in RECON 2020. Rather than attempt to review this pipe-dream, I will simply list several facts about humanity's grim future. 1. Porn shows WILL be hooked up to malfunctioning shop-vacs. 2. The bartender WILL serve you motor-oil if you hit on the droid. 3. Said droid WILL "preform sexual programming," but only if it's within mission parameters. 4.It is impossible to shoot someone from 5 feet away with two fully automatic assault rifles. 6."Future" weapons are simply spraypainted versions of their contemporary counterparts. 7."Future" armor can be bought at your local "Play-it-again Sports." 8. Your buttocks clenches when you concentrate. 9.In the future, cyborgs do not simply kill their enemies. They rebuild them. 10.In the future, cyborgs do not simply kill and rebuild their enemies. They rape them too.
You will go through this movie with a marginally amused indifference to everything that is happening on screen.
You will go through this movie with a marginally amused indifference to everything that is happening on screen.