It was only a couple short weeks ago that I was here, lamenting the Sci Fi Channel's wreck of a movie GRYPHON. I wondered if there was any way the channel could outdo itself given that travesty of good taste.
Great news, people! Sci Fi has risen to the challenge, delivering this pinnacle of ineptitude. This isn't just a bad film; it's a bottom feeder of epic proportion. And the irony...oh, the irony...is that Sci Fi felt this picture worthy of "Event" status. It's not merely a Sci Fi Channel movie, but a "Sci Fi Channel Event." From now on, I'm going to appropriate the term: "Honey, did you just smash the car into that telephone pole?" "No, dear. You're mistaken. That was an event." Where do I begin? Let's start with the story. Soap actress Kristen Renton travels with her father to a spooky foreign city that is under the siege of "ghouls." Apparently these creatures -- which manifest as either Nintendo-style CGI or rubber masked Halloween costumes -- are trying to destroy the world. Only one man stands between them and domination: a laughable Clint Eastwood clone complete with cowboy duster. Did I mention that this character is the last in a long line of Druids(?) charged with leading the "forces of light against the forces of darkness?" That the hundreds of years of skill handed down to him involve use of a shotgun? That, when all else fails, he tosses hand grenades at the offending creatures? Oh, people, you have not laughed until you've seen Clint Eastwood flinging grenades at Nintendo blurs in the city cemetery! To be fair, the city is a genuinely creepy setting. But any ambiance is scuttled by the muddled monster effects, the ridiculous gore effects, and the quick cutting designed to hide the muddled monster effects and bad gore effects...
And I have yet to get to the acting or continuity (where actors desperately try to escape the ghouls in one shot and then leisurely stroll into frame in the next).
I'm sure there will be those who will view my review as something of a challenge: "It can't be that bad." Rest assured, it can. It actually verges on the ludicrous.
And before anyone blames GHOULS' failings on budget issues, I will again assert that low-budget does not have to mean a ludicrous premise and bad effects/execution. These are the hallmark of the Sci Fi Channel.
Great news, people! Sci Fi has risen to the challenge, delivering this pinnacle of ineptitude. This isn't just a bad film; it's a bottom feeder of epic proportion. And the irony...oh, the irony...is that Sci Fi felt this picture worthy of "Event" status. It's not merely a Sci Fi Channel movie, but a "Sci Fi Channel Event." From now on, I'm going to appropriate the term: "Honey, did you just smash the car into that telephone pole?" "No, dear. You're mistaken. That was an event." Where do I begin? Let's start with the story. Soap actress Kristen Renton travels with her father to a spooky foreign city that is under the siege of "ghouls." Apparently these creatures -- which manifest as either Nintendo-style CGI or rubber masked Halloween costumes -- are trying to destroy the world. Only one man stands between them and domination: a laughable Clint Eastwood clone complete with cowboy duster. Did I mention that this character is the last in a long line of Druids(?) charged with leading the "forces of light against the forces of darkness?" That the hundreds of years of skill handed down to him involve use of a shotgun? That, when all else fails, he tosses hand grenades at the offending creatures? Oh, people, you have not laughed until you've seen Clint Eastwood flinging grenades at Nintendo blurs in the city cemetery! To be fair, the city is a genuinely creepy setting. But any ambiance is scuttled by the muddled monster effects, the ridiculous gore effects, and the quick cutting designed to hide the muddled monster effects and bad gore effects...
And I have yet to get to the acting or continuity (where actors desperately try to escape the ghouls in one shot and then leisurely stroll into frame in the next).
I'm sure there will be those who will view my review as something of a challenge: "It can't be that bad." Rest assured, it can. It actually verges on the ludicrous.
And before anyone blames GHOULS' failings on budget issues, I will again assert that low-budget does not have to mean a ludicrous premise and bad effects/execution. These are the hallmark of the Sci Fi Channel.