Down Will Come Baby (1999 TV Movie)
3/10
Weak presentation (but at least, not made in Canada)
17 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I'd normally give this one about 2*, but will add another because it was filmed in its portrayed locale, Phoenix. This is almost unheard-of for "Lifetime" flicks, which alone must be a significant proportion of Canada's economy, since most are filmed there. I was surprised they didn't simply place a few pieces of fake flora around, say, Vancouver, to indicate a more southerly location.

Certainly the subject of any predator affecting the life of a child is a very serious one. However, unlike some others who regard this movie as a meaningful presentation, I simply felt it ludicrous. You don't have to praise a dramatic presentation simply because the subject matter is significant

The story presented perhaps the two most prominent components within "Lifetime's" resources: its most ubiquitous thespian, Meredith Baxter; and its likewise most ubiquitous theme, the completely wacky, psychotic neighbor.

Sometimes the victim, sometimes the villainess, Baxter has done these cable flicks so often she sometimes appears to have "phoned-in" her performance. Very much the case here! The husband's in these presentations are usually vacuous, clueless nerds, also the case here.

The youngsters are sometimes thoroughly annoying, sometimes completely engaging, and you know that virtually all of them probably have a stage mother in the background, prodding them like a trainer with a show horse. But here, the young actress portraying the besieged daughter presented a listless performance (consistent, however, with those by the adults).

However off-the-wall, the obsessive, insane villains in these offerings usually provide a chill or two, even where wacky or unbelievable. Here, even the actress in this role was more boring than interesting.

The two slow-witted parents were so moronic in the way they permitted this nut case to insinuate herself into their family's lives, over the period portrayed in the story - that I couldn't help but feel that, in real life, anyone with even minimal intelligence would have have extricated themselves within less than the "real time" two hours of the airing.

**Possible spoiler here (although what's to "spoil?").**

The "climax" which occurred within the last half hour - especially when the parents are visiting the villainess' former apartment with the elderly landlord (or building super), and their frantic musings, were more amusing than dramatic or frightening. I couldn't get even a minimal feeling of either tension or drama, for imagining Barney Fife and Gomer (or Goober) fluttering about aimlessly and inanely around Mayberry, before Andy would arrive to straighten everything out. In fact, those doophuses could have done a better job and been amusing while doing so.

The overdrawn investigation by the parents, and the storming of the predator-cum-kidnapper's hideout at the end, provided an appropriately silly and inane way to conclude these proceedings.
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