Body Language (1995 TV Movie)
5/10
But Ne'er a Rose Without the Thorn.
8 October 2008
Warning: Spoilers
As in the commercially successful "Body Heat," a smart lawyer with a moral weakness runs into a sexpot who is irretrievably married to a schmuck. As in "Body Heat," when the lawyer (Tom Berenger) and the stripper (Heidi Schwanz, I mean Schanz) are finished humping each others' brains out, they decide to kill Schanz's husband (Robert "Agent Dogget" Patrick), one of them wife-abusin', beer-drinkin', red-necked peckerwood stereotypes that movies like this insist on exhuming from time to time. As in "Body Heat," the couple arrange the killing in such a way as to make themselves look innocent. But, as in "Body Heat," things aren't always what they seem to be and things get a little twisted. Did I mention, this movie resembles "Body Heat"? There are differences, of course. Tom Berenger is a decent actor. He gives it what he's got, but his range is limited. He chuckles once or twice and at the end seems to weep, but most of the time his expression is that of a man having a duel of wits with a claw machine. William Hurt did a magnificent job in the original movie. And -- a smart lawyer with a moral weakness. The thought of the vast varieties of ambiguity and anguish the recently deceased Paul Newman could have brought to a role like this -- DID bring to such a role in "The Verdict" -- brings tears to the eyes.

Of Heidi Schanz, it can be said that she is beautiful in the typical manner of Hollywood blonds, and that her legs are so lengthy they belong in the same league as Cyd Charisse's and Juliet Prouse's. She must have been a model at some time. She's too gorgeous not to have been. Maybe Victoria's Secret. But she's not an actress at all. You could drag some old lady out from behind the supermarket checkout counter, put her in front of the camera, and she'd do just as well. Schanz has a scene in which she tells Berenger the story of her marriage, made literally at gunpoint, the proposal having taken place over the dead body of a man her husband has just shot full of holes. It's a very dramatic scene, naturally, and the director (George Case) has had the good sense to keep Schanz's numinous face in deep shadow so that the audience doesn't have to be embarrassed for her. We hear her voice telling the tale, and that's pain enough. I don't mean to be too harsh about her thespian abilities but the last role I remember seeing her in was one of the corpses in the superior thriller "Seven" and she was quite adequate.

The way the script and the director treat the audience is something of an insult to the audience. The quondam straight-shooting lawyer Tom Berenger is being chased (through one of those dark warehouses) by Patrick, whom he'd set up as victim. But he manages to catch Patrick off guard and bonks him hard over the head with a lead pipe. Patrick collapses and is still. Berenger reaches down shakily to test his pulse and make sure he's dead. And -- guess what! -- the body COMES BACK TO LIFE! So Berenger barely manages to escape being strangled and this time must bash Patrick's brains thoroughly out. Well, we already know why Berenger is murdering Patrick -- in order to get Patrick's sexy wife. But the director interrupts the coshing scene several times to show us a few seconds of Heidi Schanz, stripper, doing her dance of the bouncing bosoms in the pink spot light. I don't for a moment believe that a law-abiding man, even if he is a lawyer, would for one second think of anything but the bloody deed he's currently engaged in. Director -- baby! -- we don't need an illustration of Berenger's motives! If you insist on treating the audience as a horde of chimpanzees, doesn't logic demand that we go all the way back and start out with the ABCs? Still, I don't want to put down the movie too much. It's actually rather well photographed. And Heidi Schanz deserves a chance to be seen.

Overall rating: One Finger. Well, no. Two Fingers. An extra for Heidi Schanz.
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