Review of Feardotcom

Feardotcom (2002)
2/10
What a bizarre nullity of horror
17 October 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I don't know what I expected nor what was within reason. One thing, though, that I do know is that this wasn't it! I have never in my life felt so disappointed about a movie. In fact, I cannot remember to have ever been so disappointed - not ever!

There is this to say: Feardotcom is a a thriller. Why, then, does it not thrill? Feardotcom is a movie. Why does it not move something? One would imagine that it requires a script to make movie; did this movie have one? I seriously doubt it. Plot, then! Nope. Plural - maybe. It does not have one plot but several and with lots of gaps between them, that is. Nothing coherent. No point. No suspense. No fear. No shock. No acting. Even the color grading was amiss.

Let's dwell on the script a bit, shall we? How did our protagonist link the 'doctor' to the first deaths? How did the Bukowski-wannabe know about a 'site' from hearing of his co-author's death? What's with the "look, the sun is out" when our heroine puts on the sunglasses she already held in her hand? Why do computer experts always say "I know" when they are being told they are... well... experts? When was the last time you ever heard about a pathologist casually sticking her arm inside someone's chest, dragging out a lipstick, matter-of-factly handing it over to a detective who exclaims something along the lines of "uuh, a clue" after which the other detective turns the note around and reads the address of the place where our victim was killed moments before she wrote the note, rolled it up in said lipstick and swallowed it (in the hope of this exact event would occur sometime in the future)? It does happen, I know, but not very often (I would imagine).
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