Now this one is what you see when you look up "letdown" in a dictionary. It started out decent, even promising, with a suitably gloomy introduction that, while not exactly what I would call innovative, set the mood very nicely: in the near future, the fatal Reaper virus decimated Scotland and now threatens to makes all human life in the UK a thing of the past. Extreme conditions demand extreme responses, and so the government revives the time-honored British tradition of building humongous barriers across the country. Hadrian's Wall 2.0 is finally finished, the gates are welded shut, the automated sentry guns come online (much to the dismay of the local fauna), what's left of Scotland is sealed off from the rest of the world and everyone is happy. Problem solved, or is it?
Of course, it's not, and three decades later, the virus rears its ugly head again, only this time in London. Understandably troubled, the government assembles an elite team of assorted badasses with security clearances, among them captivating police officer Eden (!) Sinclair and sends them over the wall to meet up with Dr. Kane (!!), who, according to recent satellite reconnaissance, might be alive after all and might even have the cure for the Reaper virus.
This, unfortunately, is the turning point for the movie, which, in an eerie mirroring of the events unfolding on screen, veneers from hey-this-ain't-so-bad highway straight into dark, uncharted I-can't-believe-that-somebody-greenlighted-this territory. Let me explain: the group enters Scotland by means of two wheeled, heavily armored APC's, which, as we are explicitly told, were built to protect its passengers from each and every harm that might lurk on the Other Side (capitalized for dramatic effect).
After running over a cow (those things can be tricky at night), the group exits the vehicles and searches an abandoned hospital for clues, while the operator stays put and watches their progress via helmet-mounted cameras on the APC's impressive array of screens. If that description vaguely reminded you of some other movie, you are absolutely right: the entire scene is lifted straight from "Aliens". The fear that "Doomsday" would merely turn into a bad copy of said movie was unfounded, however, because it quickly becomes apparent that "Doomsday" also aspires to become a bad copy of several other movies, including but not limited to the 28... Later and Mad Max series, Waterworld, Gladiator and Lord of the Rings.
After getting attacked by a gang of mohawked punks straight from the "Escape from New York" set, the slightly shaken group flees into the soothing steel embrace of their nigh-indestructible tank things. Little good it does them, as these marvels of military technology are quickly destroyed by a combination of molotov cocktails, arrows and bricks (I couldn't make this up if I tried) in a chase scene again lifted directly from Aliens. The survivors are taken prisoner and we encounter a ragtag society of garishly dressed maniacs who burn alive and devour one of the captives while playing a Fine Young Cannibals tune (my, that's clever) in a scene that tries to be both scary and funny and fails to be either.
Of course, the survivors MIRACULOUSLY manage to escape - on a steam train, waiting for them in a nearby station, no less. Don't ask. Wandering around the Highlands for a bit while not resembling the Fellowship of the Ring at all, they finally traverse a mountain range by means of a gigantic, underground storage bunker filled with mysterious and obviously completely untouched containers, crates and boxes.
After getting kidnapped by some knights on horses, encountering the elusive Dr. Kane who now rules a pseudo-medieval community based in a castle - and defeating his best fighter in a breathtaking and totally unexpected turn of events, the group escapes once again, re-enters the Warehouse of Moria, opens one of the millions of containers nobody ever bothered to look at twice in 30 years of passing through and finds huzzah! - a shiny new Bentley Continental. The tiresome punks from Act I make their reappearance and give chase, only to be killed off in various unexciting ways by the strangely slow but completely indestructible Bentley. Well, whatever. I won't give away the ending, lest I spoil the surprise (ho, ho).
2/10 (one star for the first five minutes).
Of course, it's not, and three decades later, the virus rears its ugly head again, only this time in London. Understandably troubled, the government assembles an elite team of assorted badasses with security clearances, among them captivating police officer Eden (!) Sinclair and sends them over the wall to meet up with Dr. Kane (!!), who, according to recent satellite reconnaissance, might be alive after all and might even have the cure for the Reaper virus.
This, unfortunately, is the turning point for the movie, which, in an eerie mirroring of the events unfolding on screen, veneers from hey-this-ain't-so-bad highway straight into dark, uncharted I-can't-believe-that-somebody-greenlighted-this territory. Let me explain: the group enters Scotland by means of two wheeled, heavily armored APC's, which, as we are explicitly told, were built to protect its passengers from each and every harm that might lurk on the Other Side (capitalized for dramatic effect).
After running over a cow (those things can be tricky at night), the group exits the vehicles and searches an abandoned hospital for clues, while the operator stays put and watches their progress via helmet-mounted cameras on the APC's impressive array of screens. If that description vaguely reminded you of some other movie, you are absolutely right: the entire scene is lifted straight from "Aliens". The fear that "Doomsday" would merely turn into a bad copy of said movie was unfounded, however, because it quickly becomes apparent that "Doomsday" also aspires to become a bad copy of several other movies, including but not limited to the 28... Later and Mad Max series, Waterworld, Gladiator and Lord of the Rings.
After getting attacked by a gang of mohawked punks straight from the "Escape from New York" set, the slightly shaken group flees into the soothing steel embrace of their nigh-indestructible tank things. Little good it does them, as these marvels of military technology are quickly destroyed by a combination of molotov cocktails, arrows and bricks (I couldn't make this up if I tried) in a chase scene again lifted directly from Aliens. The survivors are taken prisoner and we encounter a ragtag society of garishly dressed maniacs who burn alive and devour one of the captives while playing a Fine Young Cannibals tune (my, that's clever) in a scene that tries to be both scary and funny and fails to be either.
Of course, the survivors MIRACULOUSLY manage to escape - on a steam train, waiting for them in a nearby station, no less. Don't ask. Wandering around the Highlands for a bit while not resembling the Fellowship of the Ring at all, they finally traverse a mountain range by means of a gigantic, underground storage bunker filled with mysterious and obviously completely untouched containers, crates and boxes.
After getting kidnapped by some knights on horses, encountering the elusive Dr. Kane who now rules a pseudo-medieval community based in a castle - and defeating his best fighter in a breathtaking and totally unexpected turn of events, the group escapes once again, re-enters the Warehouse of Moria, opens one of the millions of containers nobody ever bothered to look at twice in 30 years of passing through and finds huzzah! - a shiny new Bentley Continental. The tiresome punks from Act I make their reappearance and give chase, only to be killed off in various unexciting ways by the strangely slow but completely indestructible Bentley. Well, whatever. I won't give away the ending, lest I spoil the surprise (ho, ho).
2/10 (one star for the first five minutes).