1/10
Pointless, Disastrous and Very Vulgar!
11 November 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I've always wondered why I haven't seen that much of Mallika Sherawat in films and now I know why. Ugly or Pagli is just the kind of pointless, mindless stupid excuse for a SLAPstick comedy film that she acts in. It's so bad that every copy of this movie should be thrown in the garbage and burned to a cancerous crisp! The foolishness begins as the starter credits role and we are treated to mindless clips of mismatched couples making out for the camera and posing for candids, and when the opening song ends, we are told that there is someone for everyone in this world and that is the supposed moral of the story.

Ranbir Shorey wastes his talent playing loser who keeps flunking out of Engineering school (duh! why won't you flunk when you spend half your time hanging out with your loser friends at bars and checking out the latest hottest chick in town?). One day, on his way home from school he notices a young lady about to fall over onto the train tracks and rushes to save her. A gust of wind blows as he does this and as her hair flies away from her face, Mallika Sherawat's Cuckoo Kuhu is revealed. Ranbir's loser falls instantly in love with her only to find out that she's a feminist slap-fit drunkard. He tries to help her but everything keeps going wrong as the night progresses. The next day, he awakes to find a mysterious cellphone ringing, he answers it and Kuhu is on the other end screaming that he is obviously the thief who stole her phone. They agree to meet and loser guy explains everything that happened the night before to her and she takes him out to lunch to show her weird gratitude. This is the beginning of their whirlwind Ugly and Crazy relationship. And as the film progresses, loser begins to discover that his crazy new girlfriend might just be truly insane. Kuhu likes to write futuristic film scripts in which women rule the world and men are they slaves or toys, and also loves to pretend that she is Rose Dewitt Bukater from Titanic. Think that's weird? Watch the film.

Don't even bother with the songs, the best one plays in the beginning and everything else is pure garbage. And Miss Sherawat looked right at home with it all, from her endless parade of sleazy underwear in every song she showed up in to the banal lyrics. I don't even understand why nearly every song in the film was Latin American themed, with Reggeaton beats and Spanish dance moves. Every song is either about getting laid, or getting drunk. There was even one lyric that went something along the lines of "Undress me with your hot breathing" UGH! I mean, for the love of everything humane in this world, I hope something was lost in translation.

Most Unacceptable to me was a scene where loser boy goes to 'Yashram' studios(an offensive a spoof of Yash Raj Films) in Mumbai with one of Kuhu's scripts and presents it as an Original. The talent scout responds that even "God's own work is not original" and the subtitler made sure that the God was spelt with a capital "G". For the life of me, I have never seen God spelt with a capital "G" in a Hindi film but I've always attributed to the fact that Hindus worships lots of smaller gods therefore they are not referring to the singular "Supreme Being" Christian God nor the singular "Allah" (in Islam) when they say god. I was stunned and offended but as most would say, it's just a stupid film and perhaps a faux pas on the part of the writers.

Bottomline: UGLY AUR PAGLI is just that in more ways than 1. I give it a whopping F-
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