Review of Red

Red (2008)
2/10
Like winding up for a sneeze that never comes
8 December 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This movie disappoints in several areas.

First off is Noel Fisher's ham-handed performance in the opening scene. It gets a tiiiiny less awful as the film goes on, but the tone is set. He is the evil opposite of Brian Cox in the script as well as in performance. Cox, Plummer and Englund all turn in good performances. It's a pity they should be stuck with such an awful script.

Which leads to Disappointment Number Two: Believability. Lemme get this straight--we're in a rural Oregon town that looks like it could have been used for the summer scenes of Northern Exposure, and Cox manages to tail these teenage thugs without them noticing until he gets out of his car (parked directly behind them) and he gets out and calls after them? These guys are sociopaths, not idiots. Then, there is the action itself. Right on the back of the DVD I was suckered into renting It says: "...seeks justice and redemption"..."must avenge himself by any means necessary". Three punks try to rob Cox at gunpoint and when they find he has nothing to steal, they kill his dog out of pure meanness. And laugh. I'll get right to the point--there is no justice, no redemption and mostly there is no vengeance. I absolutely cannot believe that this guy is going to go to the parents and only ask for that the boy be made to apologize. I can't believe it would go down like that for ANY dog, and certainly not a dog who is his only remaining connection to his late wife. OK, it's a small town--you can't just go 'round kneecapping little punks for "only a dog". Still, I'd expect him to be more than just quietly, passively sad when the little punks throw a brick through the window of his home and then burn his store to the ground. At that point it's clear that they are going to hurt HIM in very short order.

The director scores the hat trick of disappointment with the "climax" and ending. If I had a climax like this at the Mustang Ranch I'd demand my money back. The cruel unrepentance of the dog killers' families escalates to the point of attempted (human) murder, once, twice, THREE times and still Cox's character is sticking with this stoic "All I want is for you people to do the right thing" nonsense. JUSTICE would be something JUST like Death Wish or The Brave One, and PRUDENCE dictates a preemptive strike. Simply put, once somebody tries to rob you, kills your dog, throws a brick through your window when you complain about the first two, tries to beat your brains out, burns down your store, shoots you in the head, runs you off the road, clubs you and leaves you for dead, it's time to start killing stuff. Cox doesn't. And I. JUST. CAN'T. BELIEVE. IT.

We watch movies like this for one reason, and one reason only: good ol' fashioned catharsis. You watch Death Wish or The Brave One and you can almost be OK with calling 911 instead of grabbing a gun and cutting out the middle men in the jury box. This film is a total let down there. Cox's character tearfully says"...two boys DIED.." Waaaah. OK, at this point, I'm already annoyed that I've lost an hour and a half of my life to this wussy tease of a revenge movie, but then comes the awful saccharin "After School Special" ending? Makes you envy the dog--HE was able to get out during the first 10 minutes of this steaming pile of Why-Did-I-Sit-All-The-Way-Through-That. If you get a chance to see this, go watch Torch Song Trilogy instead--at least THAT guy had the (fill in your choice of small spherical objects here) to take any guff when attacked.
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