Crooked House (2008)
10/10
The best drama on television this Christmas
2 January 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Writer, producer and star Mark Gatiss was hoping to revive the grand old BBC tradition of the Christmas ghost story with this trilogy of enthralling spooky tales - and he succeeds magnificently.

The "crooked house" of the title is Geap Manor, a Tudor manor house that had a habit of "attracting unpleasantness", but which is now demolished. The first two episodes in the mini-series take us back into the house's past: to the Georgian era where a corrupt businessman discovers all is not well with the wainscoting in his newly renovated drawing room, and then to the 1920s where a flamboyant costume party is disrupted by a spectral bride. Finally, the trilogy is brought bang up to date with a contemporary tale which proves that the Manor's malign influence is very far from banished...

"The Wainscoting" kicks off the series in fine fashion. Gatiss' ear for period dialogue is sheer delight. I'm not entirely sure what it means to get "boskey on blue-tape" but I have a pretty good idea! Gatiss clearly relishes the arcane language and flowery expressions, but cleverly ensures that they never alienate the viewer. It's refreshing to feel a script is not patronising its viewer for once, as opposed to the contemporary jargon that litters the likes of the recent series of "Merlin" or "Robin Hood". The story clatters along at a fine pace, neatly building the tension, as Joseph Bloxham (a charismatic and engaging central performance from Philip Jackson, who manages to make you sympathise with the fellow in spite of his dubious business ethics) becomes more and more perturbed by the noises in the woodwork. All of the cast are strong: John Arthur's comic turn as the disreputable Brummie builder Master Coil, Beth Goddard, who delivers a moving speech in tribute to her dead husband quite beautifully, and particularly Julian Rhind-Tutt, whose reminiscences of a disturbing incident at the Manor are a masterclass in screen acting.

The story ratchets up the tension nicely, and the pay-off involving the wood's origins is unexpected and gruesome. A good example of a ghost story where less is more, and one that plays along with our fears of creaks and noises in the house at night!

The second story brings a change of atmosphere and also a contrast in terms of the central protagonist. Where Bloxham was male, middle-aged and world-weary, our heroine in "Something Old" is the young, pretty Ruth, at the centre of a "ripping" 'Twenties costume party. This time it is an actual ghost plaguing the corridors of Geap Manor. But again, Gatiss' script is tightly plotted, lean and with some splendid dialogue. "Gloriana!" indeed! The wonderful Jean Marsh is by turns imperious, crotchety, motherly, passionate and vulnerable as the matriarchal Lady Constance, and she forms a lovely double act with Barbara Kirby's kindly lady's maid, Miss Adams. Our quartet of bright young things are all attractive and enjoy getting their teeth into a story of love triangles, jealousies and over-wrought passions: Anna Madeley's vicious Katherine is particularly wonderful. There are some great scares: not least being a hand snatching at Ruth from a cupboard, and the unexpected appearance of the bride hiding behind a bedroom door. The tension is ratcheted up for the climax when we learn exactly what happened at the wedding day in the past, and why Constance is so concerned. Her sacrifice at the end is a moving moment, and the relief in the old lady's eyes as she collapses into her sister's embrace quite touching.

As glorious as the first two parts are, "Crooked House" saves its most disturbing episode till last. The collision of the past and the present makes "The Knocker" a particularly chilling conclusion, which neatly and satisfyingly wraps up the story. Lee Ingleby is simply wonderful as Ben, and charts the character's progression from relief at regaining his freedom as a single man, to hollow-eyed horror as he realises he has been the unwitting pawn of the diabolical Dr Unthank, and lost both his girlfriend and his baby into the bargain. As with the other stories, the chilling tone is lightened at moments by comedy, here principally provided by Ben's friend Jess (Julia Dalkin) whose response to his question: "What would you do if you actually found yourself in a ghost story?" made me laugh out loud. However, the appearance in Ben's hallway of the aptly named "Abomination", all the more frightening for being merely glimpsed, is "Crooked House"'s scariest moment.

So a big thumbs up from this reviewer. The film looks glorious, has a wonderful cast, sophisticated dialogue and enough scares to send you to bed with nightmares. I'm hoping for a DVD release and more in the same vein next Yuletide. Oh and if you have the choice, watch all three back to back in the omnibus edition, as it works even better in that format!
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