Review of Star Maps

Star Maps (1997)
2/10
Like Porn, Only Depressing and All the Good Stuff Cut
23 January 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I do wish Hollywood would realize that just because a film is about sex and has a sad ending, doesn't mean it's deep, artistic or even close to good. I say this film is like porn because rarely does the acting rise above the level of a porno.

Standout bad actress is Kendeyce Jorden (even her name is like a porn star's), who while quite pretty, gives a flatter delivery than an elementary school play---all the smaller parts are just beyond wooden. The actor playing Pepe tries to make up for it by chewing away every last inch of scenery in his scenes. Spain is meh, at best.

Even the sex is utterly eewwy. I was reminded of the episode of Absolutely Fabulous where after Patsy hires some rent boys for an orgy, Edina realizes she doesn't just not want to have sex with them, she doesn't even want them to sit on her furniture. I also found Jennifer's calm, brazen flaunting of her boy toys very hard to believe. Like TMZ wouldn't have been stalking her over THAT!

There are quite a few comments here about Spain's "beauty", I found him sleazy and could only see him appealing to a pedophile. Ironically, the two most physically attractive people were Maria (who's good, but hinted towards being a bit uptight from creepy Daddy) and "nerdy" (he was actually quite handsome) Fred.

So in all, a film basically as an excuse to showcase a lot of sex and bad acting. What could be an excellent, complex character study is simply a turd.
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