3/10
Zombie trainer vs. the other movie
15 May 2009
Zombie Vs. Ninja ranks up there with "I Eat your Skin" as far as misleading movie titles are concerned. At no point whatsoever is there any combat between said opponents. As a matter of fact both the Zombies and the Ninjas appear to be in two separate movies pasted together into one Godfrey Ho clusterf......film.

The bulk of the movie concerns a man named Ethan who is beaten up during a robbery of family gold which ultimately leads to the death of his father. The thieves work for the typical kung-fu badguy here named Titus. After mistakenly thought for dead an undertaker/kung fu master (I know! Who would of thought!) accepts Ethan as his apprentice. The undertaker, called simply Master T, I think, employs an unusual style of training as he can summon zombies in order to sharpen his kung-fu skills. The story follows the standard kung-fu checklist as eventually Ethan becomes adept enough to fight his father's killers. Where the Ninjas fit in is another story.

Ethan's storyline seems to come from the movie called "Gravedigger". The Ninjas are filmed separately from the main movie and come in the form of a bunch of Caucasian men with very Asian sounding names like Duncan, Bob, Ian and Bert. Leading the way is Godfrey Ho weapon of choice Pierre Kirby as the Dragon. It is beyond asinine to watch Kirby pretend to talk to Ethan and Master T when the backgrounds behind him don't even begin to match. The sheer goofiness of the Ninja outfits complete with "NINJA" headbands and gaudy outfits make you feel sorry for these guys rather than be in awe of them. Nothing screams badass ninja like yellow undergarments. Watching all of these white guys prance around a forest preserve role playing ninja vs. ninja made me think I was watching a corporate getaway to promote "team players". It's just beyond bizarre to watch.
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