The Snake King (2005 TV Movie)
3/10
Enough with the snakes already!
1 January 2010
I felt like I was in some backwoods fundamentalist church yesterday. There was Anaconda 3, Snakes on a Plane, Vipers, and this one. What is with all these snakes? This one had no special appeal. It was you routine running through the jungle, with one member in a tight top (Jayne Heitmeyer), and everyone getting eaten by the snakes. They even brought in some mercenaries, presumably from Blackwater or Halliburton, and they all get eaten, too. The only thing different was that this particular snake had about four heads. That made for an interesting twist as each head can get a body extremity and, pop, instant paraplegic. Then the main snake just pops the head and sucks out the juice like eating craw-fish in the bayou.

The only thing that will keep you interest is the aforementioned Heitmeyer getting that top all sweaty and bloody.
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