Beyond Remedy (2009)
3/10
Recipe for a (German) horror movie
3 February 2010
There are basically 3 things most German-made horror films look for when they are made for an international release. First off, assemble a cast entirely of people who have distinct accents, but make absolutely sure not a single one has the same accent. Second, find yourself an American actor who is either a has-been or never-was (in this case, Rick Yune whose shining achievement to date was playing the bad guy in The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift). In this case, the lower the American's celebrity status is, the better. Lastly, contrive a mediocre plot and make sure it's full of cheap looking gore that has nothing to do with the story at all (unless you're name is Olaf Ittenbach in which case the gore will be awesome but still pointless). Congratulations, you've just made a really bad German horror movie. Danke!

Seriously, there's not much more to say about this movie. It's a plot that, while not beaten to death, certainly feels like it is. A bunch of med students apply for a study promising to help overcome their fears and hey, guess what, their fears are exploited as people are killed in horribly ironic ways. Then after about 30 seconds of thought you'll realize who the killer is and all of the plot building and...well...basically the rest of the movie will be a waste of time. There's really nothing redeemable going on here. Just another crappy horror movie to wade through on your way to finding the good ones.
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