Cabaret (1972)
1/10
It's Not a Near-Miss... It's a Complete Misfire
24 March 2010
I had no inkling of how popular this movie was until I picked up the DVD and saw how many awards it won (only one of which-- Joel Grey's Best Supporting Actor bologna-- was actually well-deserved). I had always assumed it was another musical lost in its time-- you know, one of the Jesus Christ Superstars of the day. But there's a difference: "Jesus Christ Superstar" is sensational, electrifying, and at times riveting. "Cabaret" is crap-aret.

Liza Minnelli is terrible at just about everything, most especially acting. She's a fair singer, but on screen she means nothing. She brings absolutely no emotional weight to the role. After seeing how well the original Sally Bowles, Jill Haworth, could act (please see "Exodus"), it's a freak of nature that Minnelli beat her for the role. The entire film is like a punchline and it's all because of the leading lady, who has no rightful place in popular culture except the subject of catty jokes in shows like "Queer as Folk," "Queer Duck," and "Will & Grace." Michael York is, was, and always will be great, but Minnelli actually succeeds in dragging him down to her level. He gave a better performance in the super-camp "Logan's Run," for crying out loud! The only good performance in this movie comes from Grey, who actually does astonishingly well ("astonishingly" considering the quality of his costars). But even his best efforts aren't enough to salvage the whole thing.

As opposed to the fearlessly stylized visuals of his directorial debut, "Sweet Charity," Bob Fosse under-utilizes master cinematographer Geoffrey Unsworth. The film has no visual scope and even the exterior scenes are so dank and so poorly constructed cinematographically that they, too, look like they were shot in someone's basement.

The only good song? "Mein Herr," a rare moment in Hollywood History when Minnelli's camera-centric sleazing actually works.

Whatever you've heard about "Cabaret" from its proponents, don't listen. It'll drive you crazy. The film is terrible, visually glum and uninspired, poorly scripted, dismally acted, and shoddily slapped together, haphazard. For all the bad things people say about 1972's "Man of La Mancha," it doesn't pretend to be anything it's not. The worst crime of all? The awards "Cabaret" stole from "The Godfather," a true classic of American cinema.

A note about my personal tastes: I *love* musicals. Seriously. Normally, the fact that a movie is a musical is enough to salvage it from a 1-out-of-ten rating in my book. But nothing can save this travesty.
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