1/10
Flush these waters down the toilet...
8 April 2010
Warning: Spoilers
The Black Waters of Echo's Pond is an amazing movie amazing vision, amazing acting and one of the best written films ever then I woke up and realized it was just a dream.

You'd think after 3 years the filmmakers would have made at least a half way decent horror film right? Wrong!!!! This is simply one of the worst movies I have ever watched. It's not the worst ever, but its close. First of all let's get one thing straight, this is not a throwback to 80's horror films in the same vein of all the classic campy horror films made. Adam Green's Hatchet was that type of film. Hatchet was campy and fun to watch for the most part there is absolutely nothing fun, campy or cool about Black Waters .nothing.

The characters are unlikeable, shallow and just poorly written. There is nothing or no one to care about in this film. Basically the game shows visions of another character doing something to screw over the person watching the vision. Then their eyes turn black and they kill that person or try to kill that person. Example: A loan office screws over his friend and then revenge with a chainsaw...Zzz Zzz.

All in all they seem like they are all just thrown together for a weekend much like this film was thrown together for a release. And yes the very beautiful Avellan Twins and Arcadiy Golubovich are very hard to understand. I was laughing at some of their serious dialog. Hiring people with hard to understand accents was not a bright idea. The "babysitter Twins" were a funny idea for"Grindhouse", but seriously these two do not belong in a film where acting skills are required. If these two are considered actresses, then Arnold Schwarzenegger‎ is one of the finest thespians in the business. Let's just hope they will not "be back"!!! Some things are better seen and not heard and in small very small doses.

For the most part Danielle Harris, James Duvall, and Robert Patrick do well in this film. These three actors have been in great movies over the years so they know what they are doing. But clearly they are working with nothing and it shows. The other performances are just forgettable and cliché except for the Twins and Golubovich, they were just plain laughable. You will laugh its funny ha-ha trust me.

The story is blah and completely unoriginal and so are the death scenes. The rake to the head is hilarious. The dialog is nothing to write home about either. I don't know who Sean Clark is, but he needs to take a writing class. I would suggest writing 101 for starters .C'Mon dude, you can't possibly be a fan of horror with crap like this can you? "It's all a dream sequence" is so unoriginal and cheap. Did you really think this was a good idea or did the drugs finally ware off and you just said F#$@ it give me my check? This guy can't be a fan of horror films period. The same can be said for director Gabe Bologna, I just don't think he knows what he is doing. Actors reactions don't match the scenes and his close up are awkward and laughable. He doesn't understand pacing, suspense or anything remotely apart of a horror film. In fact this movie is more of a comedy then a horror film it's so bad. I can't believe they are even comparing this to Paranormal Activity.

Maybe I'm spoiled with my Blu-ray player on my 50" TV and also with films like Avatar, but TBWOEP (tired of writing it out) just looks terrible. When they say throwback to the 80's, did they shoot it with an 80's VHS camcorder? I'm not a fan of the recent Friday the 13th remake, but at least it looked good. This is a theatrical release, for Christ sakes act like it

Overall this film feels like a Cinemax movie. I would have easily rented this on Netflix and had no hard feelings. $13.95 a month is worth it even for bad films like this. But make no mistake about it The Black Waters of Echo's Pond has no business being in theaters. It gives horror films a bad name. My only hope is that this film fades away without too much fuss so "real" horror movies or should I say good independent horror movies can get a theatrical release. By the way what the hell does "Echo" have to do with the movie?
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