The Testosterone Challenge.
19 April 2010
Warning: Spoilers
"I think all of us are here because our parents didn't give us enough attention." - Christina. So what else is new when it comes to reality TV's narcissistic misfits, exhibitionistic morons, and kooks?

No idea who thought that pitting men against women was a good idea - from the point of view of fair/interesting competition. Half the women here are lesbians, so perhaps a more suitable title would have been "The Testosterone Challenges", or "The Estrogen-Starved Battle". The producer casting so few heterosexual women for this season was not a coincidence in the slightest. This didn't help the male viewers, however, there being only two attractive women, Christina and Emily. Emily and her beau James were shipped in as an already established couple, in order to counter a foreseeable lack of male-female hook-ups this time around (due to the lesbian majority), which draws in more female viewers. And true to form, there was drama between the two: Emily sulked like a 5 year-old when James chose not to boycott the strip-quiz...

"Women have a more difficult time choosing whom to send home because women analyze things much more deeply." - Ruthie, 21st-century philosopher, psychologist extraordinaire, biologist, and sex-relations expert. That's certainly one way of saying "women just like to talk more and to complicate things needlessly."

The highlights were unquestionably the bickering, and the usual back-stabbing among highly-strung, to the most part emotionally troubled girls. Also fun was the very silly, entertaining but brief David/Puck duel.

Already on the first day of arrival David was very tense, nervous, on edge. Something seemed to bug his sensitive, failed-comedian's soul. The reason for this is obvious: delta male David looks like a toothpick compared to the well-built (alpha) males that surrounded him, a fact that put a lot of pressure on his frail ego. Being voted out first was something he'd feared more than anything. He was out-testosteroned even by the gay guys, Dan and the annoying Shane, by some of the women even (e.g. Rachel). Deep down inside he had sensed he had no chance against any of these guys, that he would only end up embarrassing himself on national TV for being weak and clumsy. The only way inferiority-complex-challenged David knew of dealing with this predicament was to lash out, thereby appearing like a "real man" (i.e. aggression and shouting), so he chose scapegoat Puck as his target. (Interestingly enough, Puck was also the second-smallest male after David.) Later, David used Puck as a convenient excuse to leave the house voluntarily.

Ironically, many of the early challenges were geared towards people of lighter build, a means of favoring women so that they wouldn't get trounced in every single game. I.e. David, with his minute physique and tiny muscles, could have done well in some of them, simply because he weighs less than a peanuts jar..

"Hoo-raaaaaaah! Hoo-raaaaaah! Hoo-raaaah!" - the male team, after having "dined on the testosterone buffet" (quoting Dan).

Puck, whose laughable macho front serves to hide his obvious weaknesses, acted like a sissy on several occasions. When told that he might be kicked off the show, he started sobbing like a schoolgirl, then went into a hissy fit. Tough guy. Later, when producer Murray reversed his decision, Puck started dancing like a child. His behavior was beyond infantile; it was both hilarious and embarrassing to watch. He even threatened the petite Ellen he'd "kick her ***". What a man.

"People always think the worst of people." - Tonya, 21st-century existentialist and transporter of silicone. (My favorite quote.)

The producers knew that if the women were to have a speck of a chance against the men, several things needed to be done to keep things half-way even and interesting:

1. Certain games favored lighter bodies. "Dead Man's Drop", for example. Not surprisingly, tiny Ruthie won that one, while the smallest male, Puck, won it for the guys.

2. Biased refereeing. Guys were being taken out, one by one, on the ice-block challenge for completely asinine reasons. Puck picked his teeth and was disqualified. (Nit-picking about tooth-picking, one might say...) The inclusion of challenges that were very subjective - as opposed to games with clear-cut and objective results/outcomes - gave the producers the chance to rig certain games to the female team's advantage. Another challenge where this happened was in the quiz show; women received absurdly easy questions such as "can you name two actors who played James Bond". I was half-expecting "name the sexual organ which men have, and women don't", or maybe even "of what sex is the U.S. President". (And still the guys won, even that one...)

3. Unlike seasons of RWRRC, this time it was the best individual score that decided which group won. Again, this favored women, because a cumulative or average score would have ensured the men win practically every challenge. Hence, the top-fit Ruthie was close to winning 3-4 more challenges for the women, in spite of the fact that the female averages in those had been abysmal. She basically carried the female team single-handedly, with her stamina, fanaticism, and light build. Without her, it wouldn't have been a competition even with the most biased refereeing/rigging.

Speaking of tiny women, if you thought Puck, David and Antoine were mentally unstable, how about Ellen. Trust her to beat all of the girls and guys in the most masochistic game by a long shot - the sitting-on-ice-block challenge. She spent over three hours on the ice, while smiling like a lunatic asylum inmate. Not surprisingly, other female kooks did well in that one, too, such as Ruthie and Melissa.

"There is nothing a guy can do that a woman can't do better." - Ellen, drama queen, biologist, and sex-expert.

"Men and women are equals." - Ruthie, after losing the finale.

For my extensive/detailed list of all TRW women: http://rapidshare.com/files/438088396/RW_Women.rar
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