Review of Killer Pad

Killer Pad (2008)
3/10
If Bad Movies was an event in the Olympics...
19 July 2010
Warning: Spoilers
...this would bring home the gold. It's almost painful to watch. Robert Englund's direction is good, and the actors seem to know what they're doing, but the script is awesomely bad.

Three young men with room temperature IQ's rent a house in the Hollywood Hills. They throw a huge party, and discover that the house contains the gate to the pit of Hell.

OK. So it's like THE SENTINEL, except with no name actors. The problem is, the young men are dim bulbs and so are the people attending the party. There's no sensible character (I'm thinking Ripley in the original ALIEN) who's trying to bring order out of the chaos. As a result, corpses pile up but nobody cares. The body count rises and the main characters roam the halls uttering dialog that has little connection to actual human speech.

After the demons are sent back to Hell (this is punishment?) the house falls apart- well, actually a hastily constructed model of the house falls apart. Morning comes.

The characters dig themselves out of the rubble of the house and dust themselves off. We find that the characters who were killed are still alive, because the demons' return to the pit undid the damage they did. Hey, I didn't write the screenplay: don't blame me.

The real estate agent comes along and asks what happened to the house, then offers to buy the three young men breakfast. Of course she's got a forked tail, so there's the promise of a sequel. Many years ago Mr. Englund directed an atmospheric horror film called 976-EVIL and did a really fine job. He showed a lot of promise as a director. Now, years later, he's just another hack.
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