Review of Tekken

Tekken (2010)
2/10
What a load of garbage
7 August 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Good points: some of the fight/dance moves, various bits of beefcake (both genders), some of the SFX.

Bad points: just about everything else.

This movie is cliché after cliché. The "world in turmoil and run by evil corporations" schlock, the "mommy taught me everything I know Oh no she's dead better avenge her", the "I am your father, Luke"; everything.

I had no idea that to enjoy this movie you had to be a fan of the video game. It just looked kind of interesting from the outside but what a waste of cash it turned out to be. Even as a video game movie it appeared pointless. Where's the back-story? Why are the characters what they are? How the hell did this stupid movie get funding? etc.

It will entertain pubescent bloodthirsty fans of homo-erotic violence (read: teenage boys) but even then it's just a time killer. No substance, no epiphanies, just blood, cliché, blood, cliché and blood.

I want my money back.
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