According to the IMDb "Phat Girlz" was directed by an adult human. Okay, let's go with that.
Imagine hitting your child over the head with a cinder block and handing them the digital camera. This is the movie they'd make if they survived the cerebral hemorrhaging. Ostensibly "Phat Girlz" was made to celebrate Big Beautiful Black Women, but this movie does them no justice. It's a one-dimensional fantasy without a single link to reality... it's part cartoon, part comedy sketch, part morality play. It's a naive, one-note, knee-jerk reaction to a problem that is never clearly established or resolved. And it's bad.
Mo'Nique is the only good thing here, a natural, likable actress with enough personality to keep this from being an utter humiliation. Sadly, this is filmmaking at its most inept and incompetent. The movie is shot on shabby digital video with sloppy cuts and lazy dissolves, and the basic rules of direction are ignored: actors don't speak into the camera or look at their co-stars- there is barely any interaction between the actors at all. Most of Mo'Nique's "punchlines" aren't spoken- they occur in her head as voice-overs. For some reason whenever she is sexually aroused we hear the sound effects of jungle drums and screeching monkeys. Interesting choice.
The plot is heinous: three women go on vacation, the two fat women are worshipped as goddesses while the skinny one is taunted and scorned. Perhaps it's because they're vacationing on a magical island populated by Nigerian doctors who love fat black women. If this is the case why did the docs leave Nigeria in the first place? The skinny gal is assumed to be sick/dying because she weighs less than 300 pounds. Switcheroo most likely. The hunky Nigerian M.D.'s don't just appreciate Mo'Nique's ample body- they can talk of nothing else! Their idea of foreplay is over-buttering a biscuit and jamming it down her throat. This guarantees the lard will keep happening. If you consider stretch marks and fat rolls a turn-on you will love this picture.
Mo'Nique eats and dates until she catches her boyfriend eating dinner with a woman who is unfat and therefore evil. She suspects her man of cheating but he assures her he would never even consider intercourse with a woman weighing less than a quarter-ton. Reassured, Mo'Nique destroys the mannequin in her hotel room and tosses her television box out the window. Perhaps this is symbolic of something. When she re-gains consciousness she is back at work where her boss Eric Roberts- in a role that counts towards his Community Service- decides to make her rich and famous for no reason whatsoever. Her clothing line- Thick Madame- sweeps the galaxy and after becoming a multi-jillionaire she goes back to Nigeria to see if her magical fat-loving gorgeous doctor boyfriend is still available.
He is.
The end credits come on after that, but the film was so powerful I had lost the ability to read them. Maybe it's for the best that the names of the perpetrators aren't dragged through the mud. If you're thinking of seeing "Phat Girlz," don't.
GRADE: D-
Imagine hitting your child over the head with a cinder block and handing them the digital camera. This is the movie they'd make if they survived the cerebral hemorrhaging. Ostensibly "Phat Girlz" was made to celebrate Big Beautiful Black Women, but this movie does them no justice. It's a one-dimensional fantasy without a single link to reality... it's part cartoon, part comedy sketch, part morality play. It's a naive, one-note, knee-jerk reaction to a problem that is never clearly established or resolved. And it's bad.
Mo'Nique is the only good thing here, a natural, likable actress with enough personality to keep this from being an utter humiliation. Sadly, this is filmmaking at its most inept and incompetent. The movie is shot on shabby digital video with sloppy cuts and lazy dissolves, and the basic rules of direction are ignored: actors don't speak into the camera or look at their co-stars- there is barely any interaction between the actors at all. Most of Mo'Nique's "punchlines" aren't spoken- they occur in her head as voice-overs. For some reason whenever she is sexually aroused we hear the sound effects of jungle drums and screeching monkeys. Interesting choice.
The plot is heinous: three women go on vacation, the two fat women are worshipped as goddesses while the skinny one is taunted and scorned. Perhaps it's because they're vacationing on a magical island populated by Nigerian doctors who love fat black women. If this is the case why did the docs leave Nigeria in the first place? The skinny gal is assumed to be sick/dying because she weighs less than 300 pounds. Switcheroo most likely. The hunky Nigerian M.D.'s don't just appreciate Mo'Nique's ample body- they can talk of nothing else! Their idea of foreplay is over-buttering a biscuit and jamming it down her throat. This guarantees the lard will keep happening. If you consider stretch marks and fat rolls a turn-on you will love this picture.
Mo'Nique eats and dates until she catches her boyfriend eating dinner with a woman who is unfat and therefore evil. She suspects her man of cheating but he assures her he would never even consider intercourse with a woman weighing less than a quarter-ton. Reassured, Mo'Nique destroys the mannequin in her hotel room and tosses her television box out the window. Perhaps this is symbolic of something. When she re-gains consciousness she is back at work where her boss Eric Roberts- in a role that counts towards his Community Service- decides to make her rich and famous for no reason whatsoever. Her clothing line- Thick Madame- sweeps the galaxy and after becoming a multi-jillionaire she goes back to Nigeria to see if her magical fat-loving gorgeous doctor boyfriend is still available.
He is.
The end credits come on after that, but the film was so powerful I had lost the ability to read them. Maybe it's for the best that the names of the perpetrators aren't dragged through the mud. If you're thinking of seeing "Phat Girlz," don't.
GRADE: D-